Sunday, December 31, 2023

 I am amazed that the readership of this blog keeps growing, even three years after Bill has been gone and there have been no posts at all for 18 months! I hope it is still helping people navigating their own transplant/caregiving journey. Since it has been so long, I decided to do an end of year update.

2023 was a difficult year. My health has not been great. I've had so many sinus issues all through the year and I'm currently on the downside of near pneumonia again. As I listen to myself cough and struggle to move the mucus plugs, I again know what Bill went through. I can also cough harder than he could and I'm still having trouble getting them to move. I hear myself crackle in my upper airway breathing like he did and lately, all I want to do is sit and watch TV like he did. Now I understand!

I lost my sister to cancer in August, 2 days before my birthday. Thankfully I was with her at the end and encouraged to let go and be at peace. And while that is incredibly sad, there were some funny moments in her last days. I had talked to her on the phone when she was admitted to the hospital and it was decided to just make her comfortable. She was not supposed to live through the night. I told her I would be there the next day and she told me she probably wouldn't be. I told it was OK and that I knew where she would be.

When I got to the hospital the next day, she said that she was waiting for her sister. I told her I was her sister and she asked me my name. When I told her, all she said was "Oh, I thought your name was Harriet!" To this day I don't know who Harriet is!

Mom managed to get to the hospital and visit her for about an hour. She sat by the side of her bed and their conversation was so soft that the rest of us couldn't hear it, but Ronna was responding to what Mom was saying.

My niece and I were the only ones with her at the end. She had had visits from friends and former students all through the day. On the white board in her room, they had the expected discharge date of August 3rd. Brooke and I had looked at each other several times and asked, what are they going to do if that date passes, kick her out? When she passed away, on August 3rd, we just looked at each other!

She had named me executor of her estate and that's when the real work started. As I said when Bill died, there is the business of death. With his though, since everything came to me, what I thought was difficult was nothing compared to handling the estate of someone else. The paperwork part has eased up and now it is a matter of distributing her property and selling her house. My brother has been a big help with this. It was exhausting going back and forth to Illinois every 2 weeks.

The end of August my sweet Kitty Cat died. Somehow she got pneumonia. The vet tried everything, including taking her home with him at night to give her breathing treatments. We had discussed just letting her go and he said he wanted to try one more breathing treatment, but she passed away in his arms before he could do it. So, her ashes are on the mantle along with Bill's.

Mouse didn't know what to do for a long time and he went through some separation anxiety. He had never been an only cat before and wouldn't leave my side. I even took him to Illinois for a trip and he did fine. He's almost back to his normal self, just last month he started getting back onto the cat tree. He still goes through times that he needs to be on my lap and he sleeps with me every night.

Havyn is almost 2 now and is so fun to be with. She's really starting to talk and do things. We've gotten a couple more great-grands and there are a couple more on the way.

Kenna will graduate in the spring with an Associate Degree in General Studies. She and Logan are getting married, but I think as of now there won't be the big wedding they had been planning. She is going to go back to school to get a degree of some kind, she just doesn't know if she wants to teach now or not.

William has called and played his trumpet for me. He is so proud of the fact that he has Grandpa's trumpet! 

The other grandkids/kids/great-grandkids are all fine and doing well as far as I know.

Mom has started to slow down now, but at 92 that's to be expected. We're all just grateful we still have her.

So, there's a short recap of the last 18 months. I will start going back and forth to Illinois, but I don't think it will be as frequent. A lot of that will depend on the weather now.

I hope people continue to read this. There may not be regular posts, but who knows. I do have some things in the works, but I'm not ready to share those yet. 

I wish everyone health and happiness in the new year. Happy New Year!