Evening has come on this last night of 2012 and I am in a contemplative mood, as are many other I suspect. As tumultuous as this year has been, I wouldn't make any changes. Of course there are times when I wish things had worked out differently. But, if things had been easy, things may have stayed hidden.

Little did I know just what I was capable of doing. I have learned so much, about transplants, strokes, therapies, and myself. All of you who have followed this blog, especially this last year, know what I'm talking about.

Bill told a fellow rehab patient that, even if he had known before that he would have all of the complications, he would have made the same decisions. Yes, there are times I wish he had not had the transplant, but those are the days when I'm tired or things have been especially difficult. Sure, the stroke made things more complicated and I sometimes wonder what our lives would now be like if the transplant had gone according to all expectations.

But, we have more years ahead of us due to the transplant, so we'll move into the future optimistic and looking forward to whatever life brings us.

I'm not one to make resolutions since I don't keep them past the first week. But, a friend sent a link to a website that was intriguing. Instead of making a resolution to DO something, this site encourages you to BE. There was a list of words and a worksheet to use and the premise was to pick a word and then use the worksheet to apply the word to your life for the next year. I chose the word FREEDOM. I'm not using the word as most people who live in America would think of it. The first thought I had was the freedom to just be...the freedom to be the person I want to be and not the person I think others want me to be...free to do things on my terms. I can have the freedom to not feel guilty if I'm knitting instead of cleaning out closets. At the same time, I can enjoy freedom IF I clean out the closet because that chore would then be done and it would be a step toward other freedoms. So, this may not work any better than making resolutions, but I'm going to give it a shot.

Since we are now in a new pattern, I think I'm only going to update this weekly now. Of course, during those weekly updates, if it needs to be updated more, such as time for biopsies, I'll update more. I'm planning on updating on Saturday. I know many of you update your church, and I hope you will continue to pray for us. The journey to get the new heart may be over, but a new journey has begun for us. So, check back on Saturday evenings to see what we've been up to.

We've enjoyed the grandchildren this week, and met our soon-to-be grandchildren. Our Christmas was quiet, with snow on Christmas night. It's all gone now and we have rain, but the house is warm with the fireplace.

My wish for all of you for the new year is for health, happiness, and the FREEDOM to enjoy whatever your days may hold. Things don't have to be perfect for you to find joy. I've learned to look for a blessing in every situation. Sometimes this seemed to be impossible, but if you wait for it, it will be shown to you.

To all of you who have commented on these posts, to give encouragement or advice, or just knowing that you're interested in our lives, thank you. You have made this past year more bearable, knowing that you were with us on this journey. I love all of you! Happy New Year!

It's a little after 9 pm on Christmas and we are watching It's A Wonderful Life, and this year has taught us just how wonderful life is!

We are spending a quiet Christmas together. We aren't having Christmas with the kids/grandkids until next week-end. We are having to work around visitation schedules. And, my kids are going to their dad's tomorrow. This was a last minute decision. His wife has been diagnosed with early stage breast cancer and will be starting chemo and radiation after Christmas. So, they decided that they wanted to have all the kids together on Christmas. We can understand that and will be praying for her. We've been invited to our son-in-law's parents for dinner, but we've decided to have a quiet dinner by ourselves.

Had a plumbing problem tonight and our son-in-law volunteered to come over tonight after a gift exchange to fix it. Our garbage disposal had frozen up and today the sink wouldn't drain. And since the sink wouldn't drain, the dishwasher couldn't be used either. So, Bryan came over and installed a new disposal (we bought one Saturday, just hadn't gotten it put in yet).

We're supposed to have a white Christmas! It's supposed to start raining in the morning, changing to snow by late afternoon/early evening and heavy snow by midnight. I may have to stay up to watch it. I know I won't sleep well knowing that it's snowing. So, it may be by the light of the tree lights...sounds pretty good to me!

I hope all of you have a blessed Christmas and a joyous new year. We are looking forward to a new year filled with untold opportunities. Goodnight everyone...and Merry Christmas!

What a week we have had! We had dinner brought in Friday night that was wonderful and then the unpacking started...8 suitcases/bags of just clothes! I don't know where all the stuff came from or where we're going to put it!

We didn't make it to church Sunday morning because it was rainy and cold and Bill had coughed all night, but we did make it for the evening service. I made Bill wear a mask until he had been hugged by everyone. It felt so good to be there, just like we had never left.

Monday we saw Kayden and Kiyann and Mistie and they have gotten so big! We couldn't believe how much they had grown, especially Kayden. But, as he told me, he IS 8! We also ran by the office to take bookkeeping back and saw everyone. We went back Tuesday for some of Phillis's potato soup.

Bill and Ron went to the gym Tuesday and then Christmas shopping. I'm now the new owner of a Samsung Galaxy III phone. Haven't figured it all out yet, but it was the kind I wanted.

Wednesday was Kiyann's Christmas program at school so we picked up Daddy and then picked up Mommy, which was a little awkward. She also checked out Kayden for the program, and Papa Gene was also there. After the program Ryan and the kids came home with us and we had lunch at McDonalds and got to spend some more time with them.

A weather front came through during the night and we had some thunderstorms and high winds. It was howling down the street. Lost power for a little while but not long. It was a nasty morning so Bill didn't go to the gym and we pretty much stayed in. Made a big pot of vegetable beef soup and it was the perfect supper.

Today was cold but pretty. Bill and Ron hit the gym and I hit Walmart. Got all my Christmas shopping done which will make the grandchildren happy. I still need to buy some groceries but I won't have to go back to Walmart. We went to Perkins to eat supper and we are now in for the night.

So, we've had a very busy week, but it feels good to be home. I woke up early Friday, or late since it was midnight, and just wandered around the house for a little by the light coming through the windows. Got up  really early the other morning and enjoyed my coffee while it was still dark out. It was very peaceful.

We haven't been overwhelmed with visitors yet and have run into very few people while we've been out. But, when word gets out more that we are home, we will probably start getting more calls and visits. We aren't having Christmas with the family until after Christmas because of work/children visitation schedules. So Christmas day will be just the 2 of us and I think that will be perfect. Just being home, with Bill alive and as well as he is, is the best gift we could have been given this year.

All for tonight. Everyone stay safe and warm if it's cold where you are.

We are home! We got here about 4:30 this afternoon and it feels really good! Our neighbor Ron was waiting on us with Bill's pal Buddy Dog and Bryan and the girls showed up a few minutes later. They were a big help getting things unloaded. Now to get everything unpacked and put away. But it all doesn't have to be done tomorrow!

We went to the Heart Transplant/LVAD Support Group Christmas Dinner Tuesday evening and had a good time. We saw several people we hadn't seen for a long time, nurses, and other patients and caregivers. Dr. Patel said that Bill and another man at our table were the sickest ones he had ever seen and of everyone in the room the chance of them (Bill and Bud) being there was about 2%. He said it was quite a testimony to their will to live. I also attributed it to his dedication, but he brushed it off.

It was sad for me to leave the condo. It was my place more than Bill's for the last 15 months and it had started to become home. But, I'm certainly glad to be home. When we pulled into the driveway our neighbor was waiting for us with a wreath on the door. And then I saw the trees...yellow ribbons. That's when I lost it, and again when the grandchildren came in the door, and again when my daughter came. I'll probably cry when the other grandkids and my son come. Family...that's what it's all about!

The church sent over a meat tray and one of the ladies from the church insisted on buying the groceries I told Emily to get. Our neighbor Ron also brought us a tray of cookies and someone brought a poinsettia. The girls and I put up our little Christmas tree (which promptly fell down) so Bryan had to help. All in all a good homecoming!

All for tonight. It's been a long couple of days and I'm fading fast! Goodnight everyone!

WE ARE HOMEWARD BOUND! We finally got the biopsy results and no rejection! So we are officially released to go home. We have loaded the car and only had to ship a few things home. The last things to go in will be a tight squeeze, but at least Bill doesn't have to ride on top of the car!

We almost decided not to go to the support group dinner tonight, but We are gluing. I was stressing about getting everything done, but now that the car is loaded all that is pretty is to clean up a little.

Bill had a moment this afternoon because he couldn't help as much as he wanted with loading up. But we both got through it.

So this is the last post until we stop for the night tomorrow. Only going as far as Ozark Alabama  which is about halfway.  Wish us luck!

We've had a very busy day! Left the house before 6 this morning and got home at noon. But, it was a productive day, and a little sad again. Dr. Patel had some difficulty with the biopsy. The sheath kept hanging up on something. He said it wasn't a blood clot because it wasn't "squishy". He thought it was a ridge that had formed in the artery where it was attached to the heart. He ended up using a larger sheath, which was more painful for Bill. But, on the echo he said the heart was thumping away beautifully! He also gave me a list of instructions for follow-ups with our primary care doc, the transplant center in Memphis, and a cardiologist. And, since ours retired, we have to find a new one. We aren't transferring care to Memphis, he just wants us to touch base in case he has any problems. They can eyeball him and then tell the Mayo docs what's going on.

After the biopsy and breakfast we got the oil changed, tires rotated, filled up, mailed some packages, and paid a bill. After we got home I changed our address with the post office and updated addresses on some accounts and got the laundry going.

We said good-bye to our stroke buddy who says Bill is his inspiration. We told him we would come by and see him when we come back in February.

I still don't know if everything is going to fit in the car and if it doesn't, I don't know what we will do. I've said I will Fedex Bill home, or tie him to the top of the car. And since it looks like we will be driving through some rain Wednesday, Fedex may win out!

Tomorrow we will get the results of the biopsy and then we have the support group Christmas dinner. We're going early to take one last walk on the pier before we leave. So, until we get the results tomorrow....have a good afternoon and evening.

Today was a happy/sad day. Bill completed his cardiac rehab and graduated! All of the girls and I were crying as he made his "walk" down the aisle. We will both miss seeing them. Now the only left to do is his biopsy on Monday and he's released for awhile. Of course he will never be released. We will be coming back several times a year for another year and then it will be once a year for several days.

We had a great visit with our friends Cindi and John from Gulf Breeze. We went out to dinner and then loaded all of Bill's leftover VAD supplies into their truck. They also come back in February like we will so we're planning on stopping at their house for the night and then coming on together, as long as we're scheduled at the same time.

We still haven't finished packing but I've been sick the last 2 days. Went to the Dr. today and I have another sinus infection. At least it isn't the flu or strep. I've got a call in to Stephanie to see if there's anything special we need to do so that Bill doesn't get it. I wore a mask this morning at Mayo so I wouldn't infect any of the other transplant patients. That is a drawback of being away from other people you could call on for transportation.

Speaking of transportation, a sore spot with Bill has been driving. He's not ready for that yet as he still doesn't maintain complete control of his legs and hands. But, as usual, when we discuss it, he argues that he is able to drive. But, today, while Debbie and Lorrie were talking to us, he was very agreeable that he wasn't ready to drive. We are leaving it up to our dr. at home to make the call. We're going to look for a stroke rehab center that has a driving simulator to test him. We'll have to see how that goes. For now I will just keep all of the car keys!

Probably won't write anything over the week-end, but will let you know how the biopsy goes Monday and Tuesday's results. Have a good week-end.

Our plan has been approved! I talked to Stephanie this afternoon and, as long as there is no rejection or other issues that need addressed, we can head for home on the 12th! I've already made our hotel reservations so all we have to do is start packing!

Bill's last day of rehab will be the 7th so he will graduate and get his certificate from the girls. I will really miss them!

We saw our friends Bud and Charlotte this morning and Bud was transplanted on Nov. 15th. Charlotte was supposed to call me but she lost my number. He looked great and was starting rehab this morning. So, we will sit and visit next week while they are being tortured!

We've had a busy week, airport Monday, all day Tuesday at the dentist getting Bill's new dentures, rehab Wednesday. Haven't done anything this afternoon except walk up to get the mail and put supper in the crockpot. It's starting to smell really good, but still has a couple of hours yet to go.

Now that we've been given the go-ahead tomorrow will start the cleaning out process. Our friends John and Cindi will be here Tuesday and they will take most of the VAD supplies off our hands. I'm keeping a few of them since they are generic medical supplies, but they are taking the bulk off our hands. Then we'll start packing things we won't need.

I'm gonna try to do something here that I haven't done yet. I'm going to try to insert a picture. For anyone who is reading this that doesn't know us, it's a picture that was taken last week. So...here goes! Hey...it worked! Didn't put it where I thought it would, but I'll take it! So, here we are. Hope you enjoy looking at us!

We had a lovely Thanksgiving with my sister. We didn't have dinner until Friday since she didn't get here until Thursday afternoon. We did a little shopping on Saturday and Sunday we drove to St. Augustine for the afternoon. Didn't do any of the "touristy" things. Just drove through and had a nice lunch. Spent a little time on their pier which sits way higher in the air than Jacksonville. It is also not as level as Jax with slight ramps up. Bill did quite well walking it. She left this morning and, with flight delays, finally made it home...just as it was starting to spit sleet.

Bill has an appointment tomorrow morning to get his final set of dentures fitted. We have to be there at 7:45 so we'll be fighting the morning traffic. Fun, fun, fun!

So, all for now. Hope everyone had a good holiday with friends and family.

As you can tell it's been a pretty uneventful week for us. Bill did have to have a blood test yesterday as his Prograf level was low. They added an extra pill and it's still low, even lower than it was, but Dr. Yip wants to keep things the way they are right now and they will check it at his biopsy. The only other thing we had changed was when he took his meds. We had been told that the Prograf and Cellcept should be taken on an empty stomach, but others weren't told that so I asked Stephanie and she said it didn't matter. We started taking them with the other meds after he ate. So, we're going to go back to taking them before he eats and then 2 hours after dinner and see what happens.

I'm really excited today, not because it's Thanksgiving and we have so much to be thankful for, but because my sister is coming to visit! She'll be here this afternoon. This is the first time that anyone on my side of the family has been able to come since the transplant, except for my daughter and her husband who got here jsut after the surgery. We haven't been together since August of 2011.

Since it is Thanksgiving and we have so much to be thankful for, I wanted to share a portion of one of my daily devotions. This one really hit home. It's from the book Jesus Calling and if any of you are also reading it, it is the devotion for November 12. It sums up my life for the past few years in just a couple of sentences.

"This is a time of abundance in your life. Your cup runneth over with blessings. After plodding uphill for many weeks, you are now traipsing through lush meadows drenched in warm sunshine. I want you to enjoy to the full this time of ease and refreshment. I delight in providing it for you. Sometimes My children hesitate to receive My good gifts with open hands. Feelings of false guilt creep in, telling them they don't deserve to be so richly blessed. This is nonsense-thinking, because no one deserves anything from Me. My kingdom is not about earning and deserving, it's about believing and receiving..."

While this recovery time may not be a time of complete ease, the stress of the past 6 months is over. I have learned so much during this time, about myselft and about God's comfort. I've also met some wonderful people just when I needed them, whether I knew it at the time or not. So, yes I'm extremely thankful...for Bill's life, for everyone who has seen us through this, and especially for Bill's donor. While this is joyous Thanksgiving for us, it is most likely a sad one for this family. We haven't been given the information for us to write to them yet. I only hope they have been comforted just knowing that they were able to help others through their tragedy.

I'm also reminded this morning of the words to a hymn..."I  know not what the future holds, but I know who holds the future, it's a secret known only to Him."

Enjoy your Thanksgiving, however you are celebrating. But remember to give thanks, even for the little blessings, like finding a parking space!

BREAKING NEWS!!! We got our December biopsy date and it is December 10th. If everything goes well and there are no other problems, we should get to head home on the 12th. So, it looks like we could be home by the 15th!

Now that we have a date, it's kind of bittersweet. I will miss our little condo, although Bill will be glad to get out of "jail". I'll also miss the nurses and therapists here. I'm not scared of being so far from Mayo, but it's kind of like a military move. We haven't gotten close to many here and it will be sad to leave them. But, we can see them when we come back in Feb. for the next biopsy.

So, I'll keep everyone posted on what's happening in the next month. Anyone want to come help us pack?

Woo Hoo! No rejection again! Status 0! This is also the 2nd biopsy since being off the Prednisone and things are going well. His Prograf level was low (one of his anti-rejection drugs) so it's being increased again. He'll have a blood test again next week to check it. So we are still on track to go home next month. We've requested that his biopsy be as early in the month as possible and to get the date as soon as possible.

I talked to Kristin, our landlady, about us leaving the other night. She said just to let her know a date as soon as possible. She only requires a week notice. I will probably pay for the entire month and then get a refund when we leave. She's excited for us, but also a little sad. But, she usually has a waiting list and if John gets listed the first of the year, they want to move in.

Bill helped me set up his meds yesterday. I don't think he's ready to tackle it on his own yet. He says he'll do it when we get home because he always did it at home. That's the easiest task in this process. There's also his vital signs twice a day, and making sure his meds are given on time.

We tried to get his permanent dentures made today but they couldn't see him. They have switched to an appointment based practice instead of walk-in. So, he gets them done on the 27th. That will be an early day since his appointment is at 7:45 and it's a minimum of a 20 minute drive, just depends on traffic.

We're getting excited for Thanksgiving and seeing my sister. Of course they are now talking about a nor'easter for Thanksgiving week. If her flights don't get cancelled, it doesn't matter if it rains the whole time she's here.

All for tonight. We were up early yesterday and today. Tomorrow we're sleeping in...until at least 7:30!

As you've probably noticed by now, I haven't posted anything since our week-end away. It's not because of anything wrong, it's because it's been a pretty boring, normal week. Rehab was cancelled Monday because the monitoring computer system was down so Bill got an extra day off. He was productive and did his balance and arm exercises. He did have rehab Wednesday and again today. He also saw the Physical Therapist today and she was very pleased with his progress. He improved enough in all areas that she tests that he has been released from PT. Of course she will still keep an eye on him during rehab and if she sees a problem developing again will step in. So, one more step down the road to recovery and home.

His next biopsy is Monday morning and I have a list of questions for Stephanie concerning any other out-processing appointments we may need. I've heard we have to see the social worker before we go. I would imagine that is to make sure we feel secure enough to make it on our own. Of course we've pretty much done that for the last 2 1/2 months, but we won't be 10 minutes from Mayo when we go home. They will still be only a phone call away but they want to make sure we know what to do.

It's been pretty cool here this week but supposed to warm up tomorrow. I miss not having my nice cuddly bathrobe in the mornings and curling up with a cup of coffee in front of the fire...won't be long now and I can do that! We'll need to start packing things up before much longer so we don't have to rush to do it.

All the trivia for now. I'll update after the biopsy unless something major happens over the week-end. Enjoy your week-end and the holiday. Thank a veteran this week-end for their service. I'm not only going to thank mine, I think I'll give him a big hug and kiss!

We had a wonderful visit with Don and Shirley! The drive was very pleasant and the weather was cool but sunny. Yesterday we went to a state park that is there. It's a nature center and animal refuge. We took a boat ride to the center itself from the main center and as we reached the counter to pay we found out that as a disabled veteran, with a service connected disability, Bill gets in free at all of Florida's state parks, and that includes up to 8 people...except for that particular park and it's only for 2! But, it still only cost $21 for 2, with a senior discount. I wish we had known that sooner! Anyway, we walked all over the park and Bill did not need to rest much at all. We also went up and down stairs and had to walk sideways at times in the campground so he got his workout in. There was an underground observation area and we could watch the manatees eat. Those things are huge!

We got home about 2 this afternoon and are ready to settle in for the night. We've gone out for something to eat and we're just waiting for it to get a little later. I will also appreciate the extra hour, but I've got to figure out what this does to his med schedule. They may have to be adjusted a little over the next few days to account for the change.

Received a package from my mother with homemade egg noodles for Thanksgiving. My sister is coming and it is the first time anyone from my side has been to visit so we're really looking forward to that. The package also contained some homemade caramels and I hope we weren't supposed to save any to share with my sister because they may not last through the week-end! Her haircutting tools were also in the box and I'm so glad. I only hope I can wait the 3 weeks until she gets here without going crazy! It's been almost a year since I've had a haircut and I'm not going to look like Cousin It this time, I'm going to look like Granmama from the Addams Family! Bill on the other hand looks like a mad professor! We both need a trim!

My computer decided to crash this afternoon. Luckily a system fix program finally came on and it repaired itself. So, tomorrow I'm going to spend the day backing up files in case it happens again. I haven't backed up my bookkeeping for awhile and I can't afford to lose those files. Hopefully it will make it through the night.

All for now. Enjoy the extra hour of sleep tonight!

Starting to feel better after my cold. Bill has not gotten it which is a good thing considering the meds he is on. And I think me being sick has been a good thing for him, he's done more for himself and around the house. We managed to get laundry done yesterday. He helped carry the hampers from the bedroom to the laundry room and back to the bedroom to fold. He also folded/hung his clothes. I only helped his after my clothes were done.

We ran some errands today. My tire pressure light had come on when the weather changed and I wanted to get the pressure checked so we ran by the dealer after rehab today. We also hit the bank, got bills paid and cleaned out the car.

We're heading off tomorrow to meet Don and Shirley at their camp in Homossasa. We aren't able to go to their house because of their birds. That's a no-no for transplants. But, they have a mobile home at a nice campground so we're going to go there for a couple of days. We'll come back on Saturday. Short, but it will get us out of town and we haven't seen them for awhile now.

Still need to pack our bags but that won't take too long. I'm not taking the computer because I don't know if there will be any WiFi. But I'll let you know how things go.

Ending the week the same way we started, not doing much of anything. We did manage to go to the fitness center Thursday and Bill finally did his resistance band exercises and balance walking! Then back to Mayo on Friday for rehab.

We went by Cypress Village to take them some paperwork and visited everyone. They couldn't believe that Bill was walking with no walker or cane. All of the nurses and therapists, and of course my special friend housekeeper Shirley were glad to see us. Even the director of nursing, director of therapy and assistand director of nursing, plus the social workers were surprised. We had a good visit with everyone.

I have really enjoyed the wind from the hurricane. Wind is all we got. There may have been some showers at the beaches, and all of the beaches and piers were, and remain, closed. We've kept the door open most of the time and it was just lovely. But, all good things must come to an end and it has done me in. I'm trying to catch a cold. My throat hurts, sinuses are draining and my eyes are dry. I don't have any fever, just feel really lousy, and now starting to cough. Took some medicine a few minutes ago so will go to bed before long. As long as there's no fever Bill should be safe, but we will probably be sleeping in separate rooms before long. We'll have to see how the night goes. So, going to turn the tv on in the bedroom and watch the ballgame until we fall asleep.

Goodnight!

We've had a boring week so far, rehab Monday, fitness center Tuesday, rehab today. Nothing else done.

Bill actually dried the dishes tonight and did a pretty good job. He did drop a coffee mug and crack it and couldn't remember where some things went, but we managed to get them done and put away.

He's gone to bed for the night and I'm watching the end of the baseball game. It looks like the Giants will probably win, but I'm not really tired yet so will stay up a little later.

If any of you watched the national NBC news tonight and saw the report by Jim Cantore about Hurricane Sandy, he was a little dramatic. One thing the weather people in Florida do is watch the tropics very carefully. This is also a big week-end in Jacksonville. It's the Florida/Georgia football game. People have been parked alongside the road in their RVs until "RV City" opened this morning. So, the weather will be very important this week-end. By most reports, the storm is not coming close. There will be some wind and probably some rain, but they said it will be like a weak nor'easter. There's a front coming across the Rockies that is strong enough to push the storm east. So, it's not going to be as bad here as they made it out to be. Of course it's all subject to change, but right now it's no big deal. I told Bill we should be back at the beach because the waves could be 7 feet which would be awesome, but with the football game, there won't be a hotel room to be found! May have to just go walk the pier!

Just a quick update tonight. We've had a lovely day. The weather was perfect and we went to Castaway Island Nature Preserve. It's a small preserve on the San Pablo River, which is "the ditch" that separates Jacksonville and Jacksonville Beach. There are very nice walking paths through the woods and marsh with benches and information boards telling about the wildlife of the area, complete with "footprints" to follow on the walkways.

We walked for about an hour total with a couple of rest stops. We were also able to watch some of the aircraft in town for the air show. It had been a long time since we had seen formation flying and it brought back some memories. We decided against going to the airshow itself because of the crowds.

Anyway, we came home in early afternoon and spent a quiet evening, had dinner and got the kitchen cleaned up and now watching the NLCS playoffs. I'm really liking it that San Francisco is winning...at the moment. But, for those of you who really know me, you know I just can't bring myself to root for the Cardinals. Sorry Cardinal friends, but that's just the way it is!

Rehab in the morning and then errands to run. We got our absentee ballots Friday and need to get them back in the mail so they will be counted. And, just a friendly political reminder, it doesn't matter to me who you vote for, VOTE. And now I'm done!

We've had a pretty quiet day today. Bill had decided yesterday that we needed to start getting up earlier and set a schedule to do his exercises! This came after he got a talking to from his therapist yesterday. He did show some improvement in agility, but she wasn't happy he hadn't done the balance or resistance bands. So, we came home and decided on a time and put everything on his calendar.

This morning we did not get up early, went to bed late so slept late, and then we both didn't feel well. We went out to eat last night and apparently it didn't settle well. We didn't eat the same thing but we did share a dessert and both of us had stomach cramps most of the day.

I did manage to get a few groceries bought and by late this afternoon we were both feeling good enough to eat some dinner. We were going to go to a new park today that is supposed to have some great walking paths. It's also pretty close, on the way to Mayo. The weather is supposed to be fantastic tomorrow, only in the 70s so it may be the better day to go.

We already have a date for his next biopsy. Mayo called yesterday with the day and time. It will be Nov. 12, Emily's birthday, and we have to be there at 7, so he should be the 2nd one. They start at 8 and they usually take 30 minutes. He could actually go on to therapy afterwards at 10:30 since he'll have time to eat some breakfast in between.

So, all I can think of for tonight. It's getting late and we are both tired. We could have gone to bed as soon as it got dark, but forced ourselves to stay up. Goodnight everyone!

Didn't get anything posted yesterday as you can tell. I was hit with severe diahrea and vomiting Tuesday night/Wedsnesday morning. Only lasted about 5 hours, but it was 5 hours from...well, you get the picture. Plus, the fire alarm went off at 3 am for the building across from us and there were fire trucks and strobe lights, so it wasn't a pleasant night for me. Bill slept through all of it!

We did make Bill's appointments yesterday but it would have been nice to have had someone here who could have taken him instead of me! One of the big drawbacks to being here without family around! I haven't heard anything from Stephanie about the test results, but I checked his on-line account and the Prograf is within normal limits so I don't think anything will be changed. Since she knows that I look at the reports, she may have thought that I would look.

We had another fire alarm go off for another building last night, only earlier. It was one around the corner and the fire truck could not make the turn so had to back all the way down our area. It was one of those super long trucks with the high lift bucket on it. This time we could only hear the alarm if we opened the door, and, since we went to bed at 8:30 last night, it was before that.

We both apparently needed the extra sleep. I woke up about 7 and Bill woke up about 8. I know I needed the sleep because of the sleepless night on Tuesday. I've noticed, and he has too, that Bill is requiring more sleep than before. This is most likely due to the stroke since he should have a lot more energy from the transplant. We're going to start making ourselves get up earlier to see if that helps him any. He just goes from the bed to the recliner and I have to make him do anything, like his walking.

He sees Debbie tomorrow after rehab to check his balance and he hasn't done any of those exercises so it should be interesting! He also hasn't worked with his resistance bands for his arms and shoulders.

I don't know if I've said anything about this before, without going back and looking, so I'm just going to repeat it if I have. Mayo does a really good job with training caregivers, but they do have 1 drawback. They seem to forget that we have to live with the patient. It's all well and good to tell us that we can't be the "partner", but they don't have to live with and deal with the consequences. This isn't just my opinion. I've talked to some other caregivers and they are dealing with the same things. One even told me that she's been told she's NOT his mother and to stop telling him what to do! We all have gotten tired of nagging them to drink or eat or exercise. And like Bill reminds me, he's grown and has been making decisions for 69 years!

OK, all for today. I have the dishwasher going and need to buy some groceries, pick up around here, entice Bill to exercise and knit. I would like to put the knitting at the top of the list, but if I do I won't get anything else done so it will have to be my reward!

Praise the Lord, back to 0 so no rejection! All of his lab numbers look good except they tested for the wrong medication. Instead of testing for Prograf they tested for Cyclosporine. So tomorrow he has to have labs done before rehab.

I don't know if I mentioned it or not but Bill hit his elbow on the bathroom door at the hotel the other night and has a nasty looking skin tear. I bandaged it and Stephanie looked at it yesterday. She covered it with a clear patch that is medicated and wrapped it in gauze. I needed to change the gauze tonight and the patch also came off so I had to put another one on. I think this stuff grows new skin while protecting the open wound.

There's another man in the complex who has had a stroke. We see him a lot when we're getting the mail. He's still in a wheelchair and has a lot of difficulty with speech but is clear enough most of the time. He has watched Bill's progress from the LVAD through the walker stage to today. When we saw him this afternoon he told Bill that he is an inspiration to him. Could be another reason God decided that Bill needed to have the problems he has.

Bill is more aware of his limitations each day and sometimes it really bothers him. He realizes he's still weaker than he should be and he said that he can't think clearly half of the time. So, I'm watching for any signs of depression again. So far there are none and since he realizes his problems it may help when we talk about it.

Today was laundry day and we are both pooped! I fixed a horrible dinner so we may have to have a late night snack! It was just one of those nights that things didn't turn out right. We've also lost our local cable channels and Comcast doesn't have them fixed yet so that throws things off. You can tell we are in a real rut when we watch certain programs at certain times every day!

The weather was lovely today. Got down to 59 last night and I've had the door opened most of the day. There had been a nice breeze but it has stopped now. Supposed to be nice again tomorrow too.

All for tonight. I'll let you know about the tests tomorrow.

Biopsy went well today. We saw Dr. Patel and we hadn't seen him since his first biopsy as an out-patient. This was one where he couldn't move at all on his own. He said he could have cried when he saw him walk in! We won't have the results until tomorrow, so there's really nothing else to report. Our day was pretty lazy after having to get moving so early this morning.

We're getting ready to head to bed. Goodnight!

We had an absolutely lovely week-end. We packed a suitcase yesterday and grabbed all the meds and hit the road. Drove down to Daytona Beach via the coast road. From Jacksonville Beach to Flagler Beach the view isn't that great, mostly mega-mansions. But from Flagler Beach south we were right along the Atlantic. There was a tropical depression skirting the area and it was windy and the waves were huge with lots of them.

After lunch we headed back north. We had decided to stay in Daytona but it was Biketoberfest and there wasn't a room to be found. Lots of motorcycles but no hotel rooms. Stopped at the pier in Flagler Beach and the waves were so strong at times we could feel the pier shifting. Unlike the pier at Jacksonville Beach, some of the planks have been professionally personalized. There was a marriage proposal on one but most were memorials. I didn't ask but I think that as the planking needs replaced the new one can be purchased and inscribed, which is actually a neat idea.

On the way back home we decided to see if we could get a room on Jacksonville Beach. Stopped at the Quality Inn Suites and got a King suite. All of the rooms are oceanfront with private balconies and we were on the 5th floor. I could have sat on the balcony all night. The waves were still pounding after dark and all you could see were the whitecaps. I wanted to leave the door open all night, but it was too noisy! I did hear the wind off and on all night and when we woke up and I looked out it had been raining. But, we dried off the chairs and had our coffee on the balcony. The waves were still big and the sky was dark with storm clouds and absolutely gorgeous. The only thing that would have made that stay better was to have some lightning!

We got home about noon and haven't done much of anything all afternoon. Fixed some dinner a little while ago and watched the ALCS ballgame. Getting ready to watch the NLCS game, at least part of it. We do have to get up earlier tomorrow. It's biopsy day and we have to check in at Mayo at 8 am.

We both needed the getaway and I would have been fine if we had come home last night. Just getting away for the day did wonders for me! Maybe that will hold me until the first of November when we head off to meet Don and Shirley at their camp in Homassa for the week-end.

I'll let you know how the biopsy goes, and of course on Tuesday when we get the results.

Good Morning!

Our week was much better than last week. Except for a little soreness in my jaw (and still waiting for the bruise to show itself) my mouth feels fine.

Bill's stomach has behaved itself for the most part except for Thursday afternoon and it didn't get as painful as before, or have the diahrea hit as hard as usual. The only thing he had different was a milkshake in the afternoon. The last time it acted up he had cereal for breakfast. Can lactose intolerance develop late in life? He was never intolerant before but that's the only thing I can think of.

We're going to go exploring today. We both have cabin fever so we are getting out of town. Don't know where we are going or if we are coming back tonight or not. I'll let you know how it goes when we get home.

Have a good week-end!

Finally got my tooth pulled today. It didn't hurt at all and we were home within 2 hours of leaving the house.
The people who signed in in front of me were probably wondering why I got called in first, but I didn't need to have the xrays done. It's a little uncomfortable now and my cheek hurts more than the socket but Aleve has worked. Took some before the numb wore completely off and will take some more when I go to bed. Hopefully won't have a bruise on my cheek...everyone will think Bill whacked me!

We've narrowed down his stomach discomfort to one of his meds, we think. He was fine this morning until I gave him his "after breakfast" pills. He said within 10 minutes his stomach cramped. The antibiotic that he takes can cause stomach cramps. He has to take an antibiotic for the rest of his life. His donor was exposed to the CMV virus which is a mega-virus. Bill had never been exposed to it but because his immune system is being killed by the anti-rejection meds, he has to take the antibiotic. I'm going to track it for a few more days and talk to Dr. Yip Monday at his biopsy to see if there is another one he can take.

We've gotten a taste of fall weather which was wonderful. It was only in the low 70s today and tonight is supposed to get into the upper 50s. I've had the air off and the patio door open all day but turned the air on now. The bedroom gets stuffy if there is no good airflow. The ceiling fan doesn't do much without the air/heat on.

All for tonight. It's just about time for meds and vitals.

Thank God this week is over!

Bill finally started feeling better yesterday afternoon and ate off and on all day today! Even had seconds tonight for the first time in I don't know how long.

It's a good thing he's turned the corner because my tooth has really acted up today. Nothing is helping, not pain meds or Orajel. And, the dentist is not open tomorrow. So, we're going to get up early Tuesday to get there by 8. Bill has some Lortabs and I may take one tonight when I go to bed so that I can get some sleep. But, I've taken so much Aleve I'm almost afraid to take anything else. We'll have to see when bedtime comes.

We're going to try something this week. Bill had always been in charge of his medications, filling his weekly box, and such. I spent some time yesterday typing up his med list and specifying which box each goes in and then the times they are to be taken. His will need replenished Tuesday or Wednesday and he's going to see if he can do it.

I'm also going to type out a daily routine, as far as meds and vitals go, so that anyone else can see when things need done. I don't know if Bill would be able to do it himself, but if someone else has to do it for some reason, it will be in the front of his transplant book. And that book can't be missed!

All I can think of for tonight. Hopefully we'll both be able to sleep!

I'm glad that this week is almost over, and can soon be put behind us!

I have not been able to get my tooth pulled, but the antibiotics and Aleve are working and I'm pain free. I was supposed to get it pulled yesterday, but Bill was still having his stomach problem and I spent quite a while on the phone with our coordinator to try to find the cause. They finally gave him a laxative similar to what you take for a colonoscopy. He finally is getting empty and seems to be feeling a little better.

He did not go to rehab today since he wanted to stay closer to the bathroom. I told them that I discussed his weight loss with Stephanie and she said just to monitor it. But, it's doing no good to stay close to the bathroom because the water is off while the irrigation for the landscaping is being worked on! They usually let people know that the water is going to be off but this time they didn't. And of course, I was doing laundry when they shut it off!

As I said, I'll be glad when this week is over!

We've had a trying few days. Bill had a stomach upset most of the week-end and the meds given for that have turned things the opposite way now. Hopefully you'll be able to figure this out without me being too specific.

He did see the physical therapist Monday instead of having rehab and she was pleased with his progress. She's going to work more with him one on one instead of having him in group. There are too many people and he gets distracted too easily to move from one place to the other without needing prompting. But, she was pleased with his progress and gave us some exercises to do at home.

This afternoon I had a shooting pain go through a tooth and actually thought I was going to be sick from the pain. Not even having children was this painful. Found a walk-in dental clinic that was open until 7 and found that a molar needs to come out. He was going to go ahead and pull it tonight but Bill was overdue for his meds (we were there 3 hours by then), so tomorrow I'm going back to have it pulled. He went ahead and started me on antibiotics and told me just to use Ibuprofen for the pain, but it's not touching it at all. The entire side of my face hurts, into my ear and down into my throat. Laying down is horrible so I'm going to try sleeping on the loveseat. If that doesn't work, I'll just lay my head in my arms on the kitchen island. I have a feeling it's going to be a looonnng night!

We've had an up and down week. Bill's done well in rehab and on the treadmill, although his leg still bothers him. It bothered him at the house one day and, surprisingly it's not his left leg, but his right one. That puzzles me since the stroke affected his left side. But, he sees the physical therapist Monday so maybe she can figure something out.

He's been a little short tempered a couple of days and it's due to him not drinking enough again. So, I'm forcing liquids in and he's been better.

He finally showed some interest in his computer game this week although he's forgotten most of it and of course he doesn't have the book for it. But, at least he was showing some interest in something other than the TV.

Today was cleaning day and we (I) started to weed things out. My Goodness, we've accumulated a lot of stuff in the last year! Bill was able to help by gathering the trash in the bathroom and breaking down soda boxes. Doesn't sound like much, but for someone who has trouble using hands, it was a big accomplishment.

That's our week in a nutshell. We're going to watch at least part of the Cubs game tonight. Again, they're on the west coast and play late. Enjoy the rest of your week-end!

Today I added a new title to my resume! In addition to becoming a nurse, CNA, PT/OT/Speech Therapist, I am now a personal trainer! Bill was on the treadmill today and his leg cramped. As he got it stopped I got him off and over to a weight bench to sit. After a couple of minutes I had him stand and stretch it out before he got back on the treadmill. His leg has been doing that and the girls in rehab are aware of it. No one is sure if it's due to more activity or the stroke and he sees a Physical Therapist again Monday. Maybe she can figure it out.

He did well in rehab yesterday and worked for 1 1/2 hours instead of just an hour. I was talking to our friends from Gulf Breeze and didn't realize how long it had been until he came out! We all went to lunch and then John and Cindi had to go back to Mayo for an appointment. It was really good to see them again. They want us to stop there for the night on our way home. It will add about 2 hours to our 2nd day since we go a little out of our way. Of course, nothing says we can't take 3 days to come home instead of 2. But, that is still a little way off.

We didn't do much after going to the fitness center. It was a gorgeous day, cool and breezy so sat on the patio most of the afternoon. We even ate dinner out there tonight.

His next biopsy has already been scheduled for October 15. Hopefully everything will stay stable with the meds and we'll stay on track to come home. He's scheduled for rehab through December 3, but if we get cut loose before then, rehab will end.

All for tonight. I'm going to watch some more of the Cubs/Rockies game before turning in. I don't like when they play on the west coast, especially since we are on the east coast. The games start way too late for me!

I hadn't realized that it had been so long since the last post! We had a very boring week, rehab on Weds. and Fri. and a fairly quiet week-end.

Saturday was laundry day and groceries and general picking up. Sunday was just a lazy day. Did do some shopping for some clothes for Bill. He has lost so much weight that none of his clothes fit. So, we got him some new stuff before he walks out of his pants!

This week looks to be quieter than last week since the only thing he has scheduled is rehab. But, some friends are back, at least for tomorrow, from Gulf Breeze, so we're hoping to see them. May also try to have lunch with another couple this week.

Other than this, there's not much happening here. The weather has been great and is supposed to be cooler this week. I'm ready for some good fall weather, although I don't think I'll see it this year either. I saw some pictures on Facebook this week of home and the cotton is ready. I do miss seeing those white fields, but I have not missed the defoliating!

Biopsy went well yesterday and got the results today. He's at 1A. He's still technically not rejecting the heart but it's not a perfect biopsy like the others have been. Stephanie said they treat this as no rejection and most transplants move back and forth between statuses. The only medicine change made was to take him off of the Prednisone. Also, his A1C for blood sugar was 5.8, which is better than most people so we don't have to keep track of that any more!

His swallow study was perfect with no issues at all. The therapist said that there is no reason to think that he will have any problems in the future, other than what all of us have at times. He does need to take smaller bites and drinks, but doesn't need to have the thickening added to thin liquids.

We went to the LVAD/Transplant luncheon today that was sponsored by the company that made LVAD that Bill had. The surgeon who did  Bill's LVAD implant was the speaker and he showed a clip of an implant that he said was actually one of the people in the room. Of course he didn't name names, but it was really interesting to see. We saw a lot of people we hadn't seen in a while and met a lot of new people.

We did get some really good news yesterday. I was talking to Dr. Yip before the biopsy and we were discussing time lines. We are going to be able to go home in November! BUT, we would have to come back in December for another biopsy, so I think we have decided to wait until December to come home. We would have to come back in February for a biopsy and then again the end of April/first part of May for the 1 year biopsy. We're both pretty excited about finally having an end date, even though it's not a set date yet. But, if the dates of the biopsies hold true to what they have been, we should be home the week before Christmas. We'll know more as the time gets closer. I'm sure we'll also have to check in with a cardiologist when we get there, and we have to find a new one since Bill's retired this year. But, I'm sure they will tell us what we need to know before we go.

All for now. It's almost time to get us something to eat, even though we're both not very hungry. Good thing we're having left-overs tonight!

Bill's swallow test went well Friday, only took 10 minutes and they had him swallow 4 different things. I don't think he could have done it that fast if he was aspirating since he would have been coughing.

We had a class during rehab about exercise and meds and how Prednisone can affect so many different parts of the body. Usually I don't like going to the classes because most of them just take some common sense. But this one was informative.

We haven't done much of anything since Weds. other than at Mayo. We did do a little shopping Thursday and every time we tried to go for a walk it started raining. It did rain every day this week, but it's been wonderfully cool, only in the mid 80s. We've only turned the air on at night since the condo gets really stuffy and it's too noisy to have the windows open. Otherwise we've had the patio door open and the ceiling fans running.

We don't have any plans for the rest of the week-end, we'll just see where it leads us. Next week is going to start off with a bang. Bill's biopsy is Monday and we have to be at Mayo at 6:45, then rehab at 10:30 if the biopsy is finished and he feels like going. It should be through his neck again so if it's done in time for him to get some breakfast first he should be ok. We then have to be there at 8:30 Tuesday to get the results of the swallow study. We also have the LVAD luncheon Tuesday afternoon and then rehab again on Weds. and Friday. Whew! I'm pooped just thinking about it.

Can't think of anything else for now. Enjoy the rest of your week-end.

A good day at Mayo today. He did well in physical therapy and managed his 30 minutes of continuous walking. He's on track to start the cardiac rehab Friday.

Dr. Landolfo looked at his wound and has released him. It's not draining at all and looks like it is almost closed completely. He said if there are any changes to it to call him.

We have nothing going on tomorrow but Friday will be another long day. He has rehab in the morning and his swallow study in the afternoon. He's not looking forward to that, although it's not invasive. They will give him some different things to eat and drink that have been treated with barium and they will do x-rays as he swallows so that it can be traced. He has decided that they are going to do an operation on it for some reason.

The weather has been beautiful the last 2 days, only in the 80s with a good breeze. We've actually been able to turn the air off and keep the door open.

I'm taking some anti-anxiety meds to see if that will help with the hives. So far it hasn't and this has been the worst day yet. The medicine also makes me sleepy, which is not a good thing. But, maybe once it gets into my system that will change.

I forget to mention in the last post that they re-measured Bill and instead of being 5'11" he's now 5"7 1/2". I know that that is common with age. But, it also changes his BMI. His weight at 150 puts him at an ideal weight. So, we can go ahead now and get his permanent dentures. That will also help his swallow I'm sure since these don't fit well anymore. I still think he looks too thin, but that may be because all of his clothes are too big! Guess we need to do some shopping!

All for now. I'll let you know how Friday goes. We won't have the results until Tuesday and that will be a busy day since we have a luncheon to go to for LVAD patients, and we should get the results of the Monday biopsy.

We've had a very long, but very good day. We started at Mayo at 9:30 and didn't get home until almost 5.

Bill did his 30 minute therapy walk without any "helpers" and, although he got a little wobbly during the last 5-10 minutes, he was able to complete it without having to stop and rest or catch his balance. He has been cleared to walk without aides, but we are still going to keep the walker in the car, and still may get a cane, just to be safe. Debbie, his therapist, wanted to see how he did walking during our down time between appointments so we walked another 10 minutes to the cafeteria for lunch and then 10 minutes back after lunch.

His rehab consult went well and Laurie was so glad to see "Bill". He was having a good day and was very clear in his thought processes most of the time. During his evaluation walk for her he was tired and it showed. He walked slowly and did not go as far as they thought he should have gone. But, Debbie told them that she had really worked him over. Since they knew he could do better they just said that his walk at the end of therapy would show tremendous progress.

He was supposed to start rehab Weds., but he has an appointment to get his leg wound checked that conflicted by about 10 minutes. So, he's scheduled to see Debbie Weds. early and then start rehab Friday. But, we had a message when we got home that his dr. appointment has been moved to the afternoon so I'm going to call them in the morning to see if they want him to do rehab or therapy. I'm hoping he can do rehab since it's at 10:30 and the therapy appointment was for 8:30. Makes it a lot easier to get going a little later in the morning.

The specialty pharmacy also called this morning before we left and I got his meds ordered. It doesn't seem like it's time for a refill on those yet, but he's only got about a weeks worth left. They should be here by Friday.

We're both pretty tired. It's a good thing we ate a good dinner even though it was pretty early. We ate a sandwich when we got home and will probably turn in early. So, all for tonight. Will let you know how the appointment goes Weds.

The week-end went way too fast! Bill did really good in therapy Friday and can use a cane instead of his walker now. If we're going to be walking a good distance, or for a longer period of time, he's to use the walker, but walking in Mayo for appointments, he's cleared for the cane.

We haven't done much this week-end. It rained some yesterday and this morning but we did get a walk in this afternoon. We've caught up on sleep and I got the condo straightened up.

Tomorrow is his last day for physical therapy and he'll be evaluated to see if he can do away with the walker all together. He also has his evaluation for cardiac rehab tomorrow afternoon. It will be a long day since we won't come home in between. We'll just have some lunch and finish the paperwork they are going to need.

His swallowing has improved again. This is probably something we are going to have to deal with at times. I don't know that another swallow study will show much. He does need to see speech therapists for his cognition and memory and they will also work with his swallow.

We visited the nursing home Friday after therapy and everyone was glad to see us. The therapists were thrilled to see how good he was walking and were pleased to know that he hasn't had any falls. We also saw another couple that were there and they are going home this coming week. But, they are not as fortunate as we are. She is in late stage dementia now and is almost completely bedridden and helpless. This is due to a fall and surgery which is why she is in rehab. She has just refused to try walking. They are both in their early 80s and have been married 63 years. We've exchanged phone numbers and will try to stay in touch. He is going to have to hire someone to help a few hours a day. He is totally devoted to her and he knows that he can't lift her safely.

All for tonight. It's getting late and we still have the last finger stick, meds, vitals, and wound dressisng to do. Sounds like it's more than it really is, will really only take about 15 minutes! I'll let you know how the evaluation goes tomorrow.

We've had a quiet week except for the past couple of days. Bill is having trouble swallowing again and has, we think, started to aspirate some. Since his immune system is compromised, this is more dangerous for him than "normal" systems. Stephanie wants to have another swallow study done to see what the problem may be. This has just come about the last 2 days. When she called this afternoon, Bill got very upset and said he would not do the study, it was just another ploy to keep him here, and they shouldn't have messed it up to start with. Of course there's no reasoning with him on it. I don't know if he will do the study when it is scheduled or not.

Other than that, the week has gone well. For some reason, I've had bouts of hives since Monday. They come and go. I usually only get them during tax season, and it seems like the stress has lessened since Bill is out of the hospital. But, it could be that my body says that it's more stressful since it's just me now. In any case, at least Benadryl takes care of the itching and stops the rash...as long as I take it as soon as the itching starts. It also starts in the same place, the knuckle of my index finger on my left hand.

Anyway, all for now. I'll let you know what he decides to do.

We've had a very quiet anniversary. We both slept well and got up earlier than we had been. We wanted to go to the pier but, since it was the last holiday of summer, it was going to cost $5 to park. Decided to go back tomorrow when everyone else had gone back to work and school.

We've managed to go to all of Bill's choices of restaurants. We went to Applebees for our anniversary dinner. A big thanks to Beacon Church for the gift card they sent for my birthday! We used it tonight and Bill got off really easy!

We tried to go shopping for each other, but couldn't decide what we wanted so came home. There's a computer game that he's been wanting and he may have to order it. I've been thinking about a tablet of some kind but can't decided which one. We've noticed that the display at Walmart now doesn't show the product, it puts out an empty box. Doesn't do much to help you decide if you can't actually SEE the product! I guess that's a sad commentary on our society today. It's too risky to put the products out because of the shoplifters.

So, we're going to try the pier in the morning, maybe go to the support group meeting tomorrow afternoon, and maybe look at some different stores for gifts. Of course we've told each other that we have what we want, just being together.

Bill is finally showing signs of improvement as far as his cold goes. The Benadryl and Musinex have been working. He's sleeping better at night and coughing less. Today his sinuses have not drained as much either.

His PT is going well and he has a consult for OT next week. When they called with that appointment he got rather upset thinking they were coming up with other ways to just keep us here forever. He had not had a mood swing like that since last week. Again just refusing to discuss it past a certain point worked and he finally worked himself out of it. I did remind him that this was his decision to have the transplant and that he agreed before that he would comply with all of the requirements. Sadly, he doesn't remember that, as he doesn't remember a lot of what has happened. Maybe that will come back but I doubt it.

Today was laundry day since there was no therapy and Bill's therapy was folding clothes. Didn't do a great job but it's his underclothes and socks. But, he gave it a good try. He then put the pillowcases on the pillows so he got a little work-out. We also took a couple of small walks to the mailbox and back. It was too hot to do much more than that, but he walked for the amount of time they wanted him to walk.

Since there's not much going on with us as far as day to day goes, I'm going to just throw some things out to you. Several people have asked if we knew how much everything has cost. We finally got a statement today that covers the transplant. I got online and looked up all of the statements and added them together. The grand total so far is $1,203,784.40. We have paid less than $1000 and do have a balance, but I'm waiting on some EOBs to see why Tri-care didn't pay on them. One good thing about the new healthcare law is that lifetime caps were lifted. Otherwise we would be looking at a huge balance. We are also fortunate to have the Tri-care. Between Medicare and Tricare we have paid very little. So, if you hear of a fundraiser for someone needing a transplant, most likely their insurance isn't going to cover everything. Give if you can.

I was also looking at the invoice for his medications. Our co-pay monthly for those is $36.02. Medicare and Tricare pay 100% for the anti-rejection meds. If we had to pay for the meds it would cost $908.93 per month for a yearly total of $10,907.16. That is more than a lot of people live on per year. Another reason to be thankful that we have the insurance coverage we have.

OK, off my soapbox about the cost of transplants. I hope everyone has a good Labor Day holiday. Monday we will celebrate our 22nd anniversary. Each anniversary is special, but this one is especially so. All for tonight!

Our week-end wasn't that great. We've both been stuffy and Bill has been coughing a very wet cough. I don't think it's anything to be overly concerned about. He's not running any fever and the cough comes and goes. It seems to be more linked to sinus drainage, but nothing is stopping the drainage.

We went to therapy this morning and he did well. He has gotten much steadier walking than he had been. He was rather grouchy this morning because I wouldn't let him eat anything until he had his "empty stomach" meds.

This afternoon he didn't want to stop eating! I had to make him stop to take his meds before we could have supper. He ate well and seems to feel better this evening now than he had all day.

We're back into the days when not much is going to be going on so don't be alarmed if there aren't any entries. I don't think you want to read about the TV shows we're watching!

What a nice week we've had! We didn't do too much Weds. or Thurs. Bill finally got a haircut which made him feel much better. We spent both afternoons and evenings with the kids and had a great time getting to know little William. He's a very happy baby.

It was a little hard to get used to someone being in the condo again and every time Bill gets up, I wake up. But that's been the norm for the last 5 years so nothing new. We've also gotten into the routine of meds and timing and finger sticks. He complains a lot about it, but accepts it.

Today was his evaluation by physical therapy and she was extremely pleased with him. She thinks it will only take 2 weeks, 3 days a week, to get him ready for the cardiac rehab. All of the girls were glad to see him and we were surprised to see one of his nurses there. She said she rotates between the hospital and therapy. Debbie, the therapist, did re-enforce the walker rules and the driving rules. They did put driving down as one of his goals. One of the things she had him try was a finger exercise. He couldn't do it and she said that will get his OT consult. Dr. Yip had just requested the PT consult. The OT will continue with his hand rehab. Now we just have to see about the speech therapy for cognition.

The kids left after his appointment and we've been in and out. Bought a few groceries and then went to Walmart. I had a signal light out and I managed to change it myself! Of course Bill was supervising! We've watched the baseball game and will get supper started before much longer. We have found that we are both ready for bed by 9:30 now so it doesn't take long after supper and dishes before we're nodding off.

Bill's 3 meal choices for when he was discharged and could eat was breakfast at Waffle House, lunch at Rosina's (a local Italian bistro) and a steak from Applebees. He had the lunch Wednesday and tomorrow morning we're going to Waffle House for breakfast. I'm not sure when we're going to Applebees, whenever he says it's time. The owner of Rosina's was sooo glad to see Bill. He said that if he had known where to bring it he would have sent us food while he was so sick. We also saw some folks at Mayo today. The leader of the support group saw him for the first time since he was in ICU and she burst into tears when she saw him. We also saw some LVAD patients. I had met some of them while he was in the hospital and he had met one but doesn't remember them. But, that's OK, he'll get to know them again!

We are now out of the "cone of concern" with Isaac. We'll probably get some rain so we may not go many places next week except for therapy. But, I have lots of things I can knit and Bill has lots of puzzle books to work so we'll stay occupied.

All for today. Have a great week-end!

Good report again--no rejection! And the Prednisone has been cut again which puts us 1 step closer to going home!

Bill was released about 9:30 this morning and we went straight to the beach. Walked on the pier for about an hour. Saw a school of dolphin swimming very close to shore and the fishermen were having a pretty good morning. After that we had lunch as a favorit seafood restaurant with Mary-Rose, Jack and little William. It was just as hard saying good-bye to some of the employees as I thought it would be. I at least made some pretty good friends while he was there and they will be missed. They were also a pretty good support group for me.

When we got back to the condo, just as it started to rain, everyone stayed there while I bought some groceries. Mary-Rose showed me how to use the blood glucose we need to monitor Bill's blood sugar. We don't have to give shots yet, just monitor for now. But, if it's trending up I'm to call Stephanie.

Bill did have a little bad time this afternoon. He got some paperwork from the cardiac rehab group and was not happen to see it. There was a questionaire to fill out and he couldn't understand why it had to be done again since it had been done when he had the LVAD. It didn't matter what we told him he wasn't having any of it, even going so far as to say that he knew he would be going back to the nursing home after that. Part of it was because he was starting to dry out and after a couple of cups of coffee he was back to himself. At least Mary saw that I wasn't exaggerating about the mood swings.

We've had dinner and have the kitchen cleaned and the kids just left. I think we are all tired. I still have to clean his wound and re-bandage it and then we will probably call it a night. It may be a Xanax night...for both of us! But, all in all a good day!

We're going out the same way we came in...arguing about meds! Bill did not get his Prograf and Cellcept before dinner this evening. The med nurse was not someone I was familiar with, and after 10 weeks I know most of them. When I questioned her she said they were either given before she came on or they weren't supposed to be given. I made her pull his paper chart and the order was written for them to be held this morning for the biopsy, but nothing was written for them to be re-started! She was going to call the nursing home dr. but I told her he wasn't following him for those meds and to call the transplant cardiologist on call and gave her the number. She got Dr. Hosenpud and said that I was concerned about the drugs not being restarted and he told her to restart them per the previous order for biopsy.

The thing that is really disturbing is that the nurse who wrote the order is one of Bill's regular nurses and this is the 4th biopsy he has had since he's been there. He got his Prograf before I left and she was going to check the timing on the Cellcept because she said he got it at 9. I told her he was supposed to get it before he ate so she was going to check on it.

The biopsy went well today. He used his walker instead of a wheelchair which impressed them. Of course we won't have the results until tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully the Prednisone will get cut another 5 mg which puts us a step closer to home. Dr. Yip asked about going home and I told him that Tina and I had talked about that before and December would put him 2 months out with no Prednisone if the taper schedule continued as it has been. He thought about it and did some calculating and agreed that it is do-able.
We would have to come back in February and then probably not until May and then he may be on a yearly schedule.

Bill has finished all of his therapy and I have discharge notes for PT and speech. I'm to give them to rehab at Mayo to continue outpatient with them. It's going to be bittersweet leaving tomorrow. There are a few people I'm truly going to miss and it will be hard to say good-bye to them. There are also a couple of other residents that we will miss.

On a happier note, we met our youngest grandchild today and he is a sweetie. He talked and laughed and played on Grandpa's blanket he knotted in therapy. He also took a ride in Grandpa's wheelchair. We're hoping to go to the beach tomorrow after we get out so that Bill can walk on the pier again and then have some lunch. The pier depends on the weather, 70% chance of rain so I don't know that we will get there.

All for now, I'll let you know the biopsy results tomorrow.

Meds finally arrived at 3 this afternoon! Met with Stephanie and went over all of them to make sure I knew the dosages and times they were to be given. The pharmacy sent a really nice canvas attache case, water bottle, pill cutter, thermometer and travel pill case.

Bill did go on the outing today and did fine. He used his walker and only had 1 problem when he stood up from his seat to get out. He said his legs didn't want to work so he sat back down and tried again and they did fine. When they got back there was another little concert that he attended. He talked to the aides that went and to some of the other residents. He feels sorry for a lot of them because they are worse than he is and he says he can tell they're not going to get better!

I finally got to the center just in time for supper with him and when we finished Maggie brought his discharge paperwork for him to sign. Everything is still on track for Tuesday.

Today I got the equipment out of Kristin's garage. She had a rolator walker and the transfer bench for the shower. Also had some safety bars for the toilet. I didn't get the wheelchair because I don't think he is going to need it. It will just be making him use his walker here in the house to go from room to room.

The book I ordered for him came in today and he's already started reading it. It's a 13 week workbook to continue therapies on your own. He was really interested in it.

It's been such a long time since he's been home, I don't know how we will act! It's probably going to be really strange. I've been trying to type and eat jelly beans and I'm having to go back and re-type things. So--do I quit typing or quite eating jelly beans? I think you can figure that one out! Good-night!!

We had a very interesting day today. Bill's meds were supposed to come Fedex and I wasn't comfortable with leaving them at the door all day, so I told Bill I was not coming until the meds came and then I would stay later this evening.

Thought I would sleep in a little, but was up before 7 anyway. Bill called about 8:30 and he had eaten breakfast and was dressed and waiting for therapy to come for him. When they knocked on the door for him we said our goodbyes and I got busy. Cleaned all the floors and removed the throw rugs from the bathroom and kitchen. Vacuumed the carpet in the living room and bedroom and got the laundry completely caught up, including getting it all folded and put away instead of leaving it in the laundry room.

We talked a couple of times in the afternoon. He did all of his therapy and then went to the activity room for a concert! We had not participated in the activities because they all involve snacks and drinks and since he hadn't been able to eat or drink thought it would be better not to be tempted. I was surprised that he went and he said it was good and he talked to some people.

I stayed home until 4:45 and then stopped by Zaxby's for a salad and met Bill for supper. We went outside for awhile and I can home a little after 7:30 to see if the meds had come, but no such luck. I was supposed to meet with Stephanie tomorrow to go over the meds so I'll have to get back with her on that. It also means that I will have to stick around here again tomorrow.

It did feel good not to have to get up and out and I don't think I even got dressed until mid-afternoon. But, I was busy and wanted to wait until I was finished working. I think Bill also did well by himself and didn't panic when I didn't come. I will go tomorrow and then come home when he goes to therapy. He still hasn't decided if he is going to go on the outing. I told him it was his decision. Maybe getting through today on his own will help him make the decision. We're also supposed to sign some discharge paperwork tomorrow.

Except for not getting the meds the day wasn't wasted for me and it did us both some good. I just talked to him on the phone and we're both tired and ready for bed. He was going to go to the nurses station and tell them he was ready for bed and wanted his meds so they wouldn't wake him up! Sounds like some pretty good reasoning to me!

After getting called at 4:15 and 6:15 this morning from Bill who was ready to go and wondering where I was, the feeding tube was removed about noon. I came out easily and the dr. was pleased with the way everything looked.

The PAs and dr. were also pleased with his leg, but the PAs were more excited to see Bill walk and get onto the table by himself. The last time one of them had seen him was in the hospital and he wasn't convinced he would make it. The other one had to help him get on the table the last time he saw him.

Bill walked today and didn't use a wheelchair at all. He used one of the Rolator walkers, the kind with 4 wheels and a seat for resting. He only had to stop 1 time to rest. All of the buildings at Mayo are connected and we were in 2 of them, 2 stops in the first building, 2 stops in the second building and 1 stop back in the first building. We also made a run to the post office after his appointments but he stayed in the car. He was more tired walking from the parking lot to his room when we got back!

Because he had walked so much today he was excused from PT and OT, but he has to make it up Saturday. He did do his speech therapy and she was astounded with his work today. He had to look at a map of the US and then answer 13 questions relating to the map such as direction, bordering states, etc. She said he buzzed right through it and brought it to me to see.

The outing to Cracker Barrel has been moved to Friday, but he has decided not to go. I still haven't taken him off the list yet so maybe he'll think about it tomorrow and change his mind.

I left him tonight with Mrs. Erma, the 85-year old black lady who is across the hall. She's been joining us for meals at a table instead of eating in her room. They were plotting wheelchair races and how to go dancing when I left! I also reminded him that I won't be there in the morning. I also reminded him not to call at 4 am! Hopefully he'll start sleeping all night when he gets home. Otherwise it's going to make for a very crabby wife!

Here's the news we've all been waiting for....the gtube comes out tomorrow and he will be discharged next Tuesday from the skilled nursing center! Of course we still have to stay in Florida for a while for biopsies, but we are climbing out of the valley!

Had a really good day today, not including the news about discharge. Bill was in a very good mood although he was a little confused off and on. He was also confused last night and called me to tell me he lost a pair of shoes. It turned out that he thought he had more shoes there than he did so he thought a pair was missing.

I had several conversations today with therapists, our coordinator and the specialty pharmacy. We have to have his anti-rejection meds in hand before we can leave the facility. They will be delivered Thursday and I cannot open them until I meet with Stephanie on Friday to go over all of them with her.

So we are having a few busy days now. Tomorrow is an EKG, followed by the surgeon to check his leg and then the tube removal. Bill thinks that he will have to stay in the hospital, but the procedure only takes a couple of minutes. Then, Thursday I will stay at home until the drugs come, but it will be a productive day making sure that the condo is ready for him to come home. Friday will be the meeting with Stephanie and paperwork for discharge. Either Sunday or Monday Mary Rose, Jack and William will be here, Monday is biopsy day and last day of in-patient therapy and then home on Tuesday. I'm going to start bring things home now. There isn't much to pack up, but more than clothes now.

So, a new phase will begin now. We don't know what the next steps will be, as far as the transplant goes now. The therapists have recommended that he continue outpatient therapy so that has to be set up also. It's also a little scary that we will be on our own. I'm not concerned about the transplant aspect. That is mostly common sense and making sure his meds are taken on time (and I can do a better job than has been done at times as you know by now)! But, the day to day of stroke recovery is uncharted waters for us. So, I'm reading everything I can get my hands on and consulting online support groups. So, if any of you reading this have had any experience with living with a stroke patient, or caregiving for a stroke patient, all suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I'm not taking my computer with me tomorrow so you won't get real-time updates on the procedure. Some of you may get text messages, but rest assured that I will update this tomorrow night as soon as I get home. Again, thanks for being with us on this journey...and continue to follow the new route we are taking! We can definitely use the support!

Bill had a good week-end and only had 1 little problem yesterday afternoon. But, I gave him a drink and within 15 minutes he was fine. He's wanting to go home so badly that he gets really frustrated when I remind him that when he leaves the center he still has to stay in Florida.

We were supposed to find out today what day he will be discharged, but hadn't heard anything by the time I left at 6. Maybe tomorrow. We also still don't know if the order to remove the feeding tube got signed. Again, maybe tomorrow.

The only glitch the entire week-end and into today has been meals. None of Bill's meals have been right, even though we filled out the menu sheets. When they checked yesterday, the kitchen said they had not received his menus so we filled them out again. Luckily I wrote everything on his calendar so we could remember what he ordered. I handed them to the CNA myself and she turned them in herself, but dinner was wrong and lunch again today. This time someone from the kitchen brought his meal and his menu. She said that if there was a line through his choice it meant it had been entered into the computer correctly, but when she looked at the computer printout that comes with each meal, they didn't match! She gave me her direct number and said she would monitor his trays to make sure they were right. I noticed that there were 3 other trays replaced this evening so there is a definite problem in the kitchen.

The activity office is having an outing to Cracker Barrel Thursday. Bill wants to go, but he doesn't want to go without me. I think it would be really good for him to go but won't push it if he's going to be upset about going. I haven't turned in his money yet so I'll let him think about it a little more.

That's about it for this update. Wish we knew what the next steps would be. Maybe tomorrow!

Had a good day yesterday after I got there. I managed to get quite a bit accomplished. Bill was in a great mood all day and even though I ended up leaving earlier than I had planned, he was OK with it. I've gotten an eye infection. It's like a sty, but not a sty. The dr. said that my lower lid is "very angry". DUH! It's very painful and itches and my face under the eye is really puffy. Anyway, I went to the urgent care clinic this morning and got an antibiotic for it. Got back in time for lunch with Bill.

He was not in a very good mood. His stomach was cramping again and we have traced it to dairy products and it doesn't have to be much. They have been putting his meds in pudding to make it easier to swallow and almost as soon as it is swallowed, he cramps. I was not happy that they sent him the wrong lunch. In great big letters at the top of his menu sheet are the words NO RAW VEGGIES. So why would you send a BLT for lunch. The nurse called the kitchen and they sent the entree we had picked and he finally ate. He was going to eat just crackers and his cookies but I told him no dessert until he ate his lunch! He was in a much better frame of mind after he ate.

We were talking to another resident and her son some today and she has been having problems getting the correct meals also. I wonder if part of it could be a lack of English speaking/reading employees. She also said that the night staff is very loud and rude. Bill had been telling me that for several days, but he is still confused enough that it's hard to decipher what is real and what is just in his mind. But Florence agreed that they bang the doors open and turn on all the lights and startle them and then leave the lights on when they leave.

We've found out that the order for the tube removal has not been signed, it's waiting for signature. So we still don't know when that will be. But, as far as I know, we will know something Monday as far as discharge goes.

Bill is still on the driving theme, but before I left tonight he said that if he needed to go anywhere and I couldn't take him he would just call Ron and tell him he needed to go to the store. We've had a couple of other friends say they will drive him around so maybe he will be ok with that.

All for tonight. My pain pills are wearing off and my eye is starting to hurt again. Been looking at this screen too much this evening. Oh, before I forget, Emily's boss's brother had his transplant Thursday evening. By 1 am yesterday he was awake and talking. I haven't heard anything since the initial report so I'm assuming that things are going well. It's kind of bittersweet that his went so well at the center that told Bill he was too old and Bill's went so wrong at one of the premier centers in the world. But, we're glad for Larry and his family and thankful that Bill is still with us and in as good a shape as can be right now.

I thought yesterday was going to be another bad day when Bill called at 4:15 am, again complaining about not having his wallet and credit cards. The nurse told me when I got there that he had been up and dressed since 5 and then got mad when it was time for meds. The night nurse also told him, in my presence, that she trusts me and he should too.

We managed to get to Mayo and get the bloodwork done without killing each other and after breakfast he calmed down some. As soon as he got back they whisked him away to therapy so he didn't have any time to brood about things again.

He was fine in the afternoon except for a few times we he started to bring it up again. I told him they day we walk out of there for good I will hand him his wallet, with everything in it. That seemed to make him feel better At least this time I wasn't plotting to sell everything!

The paperwork has been signed for the gtube removal and Stephanie is trying to get it on the radiology schedule. She would like to have it done on a day we are already at Mayo but we don't have another appointment until the 15th and then again on the 20th, so maybe she will just take the first available day. And, speaking of the 20th, that may be discharge day, or right around there. I have heard them say the 20th, but we don't want to say anything to Bill in case it gets pushed back a day or two.

A new concern to deal with now is driving. He is determined that he is going to drive HIS car when we get home. It's a good thing that we've always had an informal use of cars. If we're in his, he drives and in mine, I drive. And, thankfully, we are in my car here! I talked to his therapists about it yesterday and they have talked to him about it. We've comprised, Bill and I, and will let Dr. Yip make the final decision. I asked him how he would feel if he was driving with McKenna in the car and he had an accident and that seemed to help, although he says we'll just have to sell the car. I told him he'll just sit on the other side!

I've taken the morning off to get my oil changed and relax a little. This has been a very stressful week again. I told him that I wasn't coming this morning but I would stay later in the evening and have supper with him tonight. I also told our housekeeper and asked her to tell Lisa this morning. She said she would also remind Bill if he forgot. He seemed OK with the idea. And, shortly after the time I usually get up, 2 delayed text messages came through, so I didn't get to sleep in any. But, I feel rested and have laundry in both the washer and dryer and picked up the place some. It feels good not to have to get up and out and it will feel really good when Bill gets home and that becomes a more normal thing. Of course we will probably be bored pretty quickly!

I found a book on line, written by an attorney who had a stroke at a very young age. After he completed his rehab and was told he wouldn't progress any farther, he decided to prove them wrong. He's now a practicing attorney and wrote this workbook to help others recover on their own. I'm going to stop by Barnes and Noble while I'm out to see if they have it. Bill said he thought he would like that since he had said he needed to write things down to help him remember things. There were also a couple of books to help me deal with him. Caregiving for the LVAD/transplant is a piece of cake compare to stroke caregiving!

And in the blue corner, weighing in at 146.8 pounds...he made his goal weight and the paperwork has been started to have the feeding tube removed! It has to be done at Mayo so as soon as the nursing home dr. gets the order written and faxed to Stephanie she can get it scheduled. It will only take about 10 minutes but Bill has gotten it in his mind that they will be removing scar tissue in his chest and have to spend several days in the hospital. Where he got that idea is anyone's guess!

We also talked to Maggie, one of the social workers today and told her the news and Bill said that we are just waiting to see when he can leave. She's the discharge planner and she said she will have a date for us by Monday! As far as PT and OT go, they are ready to sign off. We're hoping that since he will have to go through cardiac rehab, Medicare will pay for that and speech therapy on an outpatient basis. So, Monday we will have at least a tentative date.

He has also been released from the lung doc and will only be seen on an as needed basis. His lungs are now perfectly clear. Amy, the PA couldn't believe that he had smoked for 40 years and quit just 13 years ago! He still has his Advair and a rescue inhaler but I don't really anticipate him having to use it much if at all.

We have to go to Mayo tomorrow for a blood test. The lab the center uses has messed up his Prograf level test that was requested last Monday (a week ago). The first time they ran the wrong test. This time they used the wrong colored top tube. They were going to re-draw it this afternoon, but it has to be done before he takes the Prograf so I told them I would just take him to Mayo in the morning. Hopefully they will remember to hold the Prograf and give it to me to give to him after the test. I'm also going to take him to breakfast at the wonderful cafeteria at Mayo. He has to take the Prograf on an empty stomach so I told him not to eat his breakfast. Maybe he'll remember.

He got upset again this evening about the alarm on his wheelchair. When he started yelling at me about it again I told him I loved him and would see him in the morning and left. He doesn't like it when I do that but it gets through to him better. He called me about an hour later and, while he wasn't completely over it, he was better about it. At least he wasn't raving again. Other than that he had a really good day.

I feel like I'm getting a sty and need to really look at it since I'm prone to the ones that grown inside the bottom lid. But this feels more like an infected eyelash or something. Just haven't taken the time to look in the mirror!

All for tonight, have to get up earlier to get to Mayo early.

Bill was totally out of control today, all because he did he didn't want to take a shower, going so far as to swat at his nurse and tell her to get her hands off of him. He was also swearing at both the nurse and his CNA. I told him he was stinky since he hadn't had a shower since Thursday. He only gets a shower 3 times a week and he refused to shower Saturday. This time I got in his face and told him that his behavior was unacceptable and he was acting like the other resident who was so nasty to the staff and other residents and family members. He grudgingly apologized and did shower but he refused all therapy. And of course I am the bad guy again, keeping him there with no money or ID so that he's a prisoner.

This time I decided not to let the behavior go and let him see how his behavior affected other people. Of course the staff can't be stern with him so I was and after a while he agreed to go to therapy. During that time I did some checking and he had not had anything to drink except for 2 cups of coffee since last night, so he was under-hydrated again. But, he wouldn't hear that he needed to drink. The CNA also suggested that he be checked for another UTI. The nurses and therapists think it's because he feels so much better and wants to be more independent. We all understand that, it's getting him to understand that his safety is the main concern.

One of the sticking points has been that I leave in the evenings, even going so far as to accuse me of meeting my boyfriend. I told him today that if it would make him feel better, I would not come in the mornings when he is so busy with therapy and then I would spend the afternoon and evening with him. That didn't satisfy him either so I asked him if he just wanted me to stay away and not come at all. That led to more accusations, I was selling the house and keeping all the money and not telling him.

We talked to the dietician this afternoon and she said that if he can get his weight to 145 she would ok taking out the feeding tube. They will weigh him tomorrow. He was last weighed Saturday and I think he was at 142.8. Of course, with all the problems over the week-end it was understandable that it would be down. After talking to Karen, he really perked up and ate all of his dinner, 2 packages of peanut butter crackers, 2 small bags of Cheez-it crackers and a cherry turnover. He also drank a coke, glass of tea and 2 bottles of water! I talked to Stephanie to see who to talk to about having it removed and she said she thought it could be done bedside and we wouldn't need to make a trip to Mayo for it. But, she wasn't sure so she'll let me know tomorrow. I had decided to not go tomorrow morning since I do have some errands to take care of but since they are going to weigh him early, I will go and then maybe leave to get my stuff done.

He tried to guilt me into staying this evening, but it didn't work. He called about an hour ago and the change in him was amazing. He also admitted that he had "screwed up" today! It was actually nice to be able to talk about it rationally for once. But, who knows how long, if at all it will be remembered. I guess we shall see in the morning.

Even though I'm emotionallly drained. I don't feel as desolate as over the week-end. Maybe it was not holding back in front of him that made the difference, or it could be the Xanax I took throughout the day! Of course that goes completely against my nature, and I think I channeled my grandfather, so family, you know who I'm talking about! I wasn't quite that bad, but I didn't just sit and take it today.

So, it's late, I'm tired and I'll let you know what his weight was.