Evening has come on this last night of 2012 and I am in a contemplative mood, as are many other I suspect. As tumultuous as this year has been, I wouldn't make any changes. Of course there are times when I wish things had worked out differently. But, if things had been easy, things may have stayed hidden.

Little did I know just what I was capable of doing. I have learned so much, about transplants, strokes, therapies, and myself. All of you who have followed this blog, especially this last year, know what I'm talking about.

Bill told a fellow rehab patient that, even if he had known before that he would have all of the complications, he would have made the same decisions. Yes, there are times I wish he had not had the transplant, but those are the days when I'm tired or things have been especially difficult. Sure, the stroke made things more complicated and I sometimes wonder what our lives would now be like if the transplant had gone according to all expectations.

But, we have more years ahead of us due to the transplant, so we'll move into the future optimistic and looking forward to whatever life brings us.

I'm not one to make resolutions since I don't keep them past the first week. But, a friend sent a link to a website that was intriguing. Instead of making a resolution to DO something, this site encourages you to BE. There was a list of words and a worksheet to use and the premise was to pick a word and then use the worksheet to apply the word to your life for the next year. I chose the word FREEDOM. I'm not using the word as most people who live in America would think of it. The first thought I had was the freedom to just be...the freedom to be the person I want to be and not the person I think others want me to be...free to do things on my terms. I can have the freedom to not feel guilty if I'm knitting instead of cleaning out closets. At the same time, I can enjoy freedom IF I clean out the closet because that chore would then be done and it would be a step toward other freedoms. So, this may not work any better than making resolutions, but I'm going to give it a shot.

Since we are now in a new pattern, I think I'm only going to update this weekly now. Of course, during those weekly updates, if it needs to be updated more, such as time for biopsies, I'll update more. I'm planning on updating on Saturday. I know many of you update your church, and I hope you will continue to pray for us. The journey to get the new heart may be over, but a new journey has begun for us. So, check back on Saturday evenings to see what we've been up to.

We've enjoyed the grandchildren this week, and met our soon-to-be grandchildren. Our Christmas was quiet, with snow on Christmas night. It's all gone now and we have rain, but the house is warm with the fireplace.

My wish for all of you for the new year is for health, happiness, and the FREEDOM to enjoy whatever your days may hold. Things don't have to be perfect for you to find joy. I've learned to look for a blessing in every situation. Sometimes this seemed to be impossible, but if you wait for it, it will be shown to you.

To all of you who have commented on these posts, to give encouragement or advice, or just knowing that you're interested in our lives, thank you. You have made this past year more bearable, knowing that you were with us on this journey. I love all of you! Happy New Year!

It's a little after 9 pm on Christmas and we are watching It's A Wonderful Life, and this year has taught us just how wonderful life is!

We are spending a quiet Christmas together. We aren't having Christmas with the kids/grandkids until next week-end. We are having to work around visitation schedules. And, my kids are going to their dad's tomorrow. This was a last minute decision. His wife has been diagnosed with early stage breast cancer and will be starting chemo and radiation after Christmas. So, they decided that they wanted to have all the kids together on Christmas. We can understand that and will be praying for her. We've been invited to our son-in-law's parents for dinner, but we've decided to have a quiet dinner by ourselves.

Had a plumbing problem tonight and our son-in-law volunteered to come over tonight after a gift exchange to fix it. Our garbage disposal had frozen up and today the sink wouldn't drain. And since the sink wouldn't drain, the dishwasher couldn't be used either. So, Bryan came over and installed a new disposal (we bought one Saturday, just hadn't gotten it put in yet).

We're supposed to have a white Christmas! It's supposed to start raining in the morning, changing to snow by late afternoon/early evening and heavy snow by midnight. I may have to stay up to watch it. I know I won't sleep well knowing that it's snowing. So, it may be by the light of the tree lights...sounds pretty good to me!

I hope all of you have a blessed Christmas and a joyous new year. We are looking forward to a new year filled with untold opportunities. Goodnight everyone...and Merry Christmas!

What a week we have had! We had dinner brought in Friday night that was wonderful and then the unpacking started...8 suitcases/bags of just clothes! I don't know where all the stuff came from or where we're going to put it!

We didn't make it to church Sunday morning because it was rainy and cold and Bill had coughed all night, but we did make it for the evening service. I made Bill wear a mask until he had been hugged by everyone. It felt so good to be there, just like we had never left.

Monday we saw Kayden and Kiyann and Mistie and they have gotten so big! We couldn't believe how much they had grown, especially Kayden. But, as he told me, he IS 8! We also ran by the office to take bookkeeping back and saw everyone. We went back Tuesday for some of Phillis's potato soup.

Bill and Ron went to the gym Tuesday and then Christmas shopping. I'm now the new owner of a Samsung Galaxy III phone. Haven't figured it all out yet, but it was the kind I wanted.

Wednesday was Kiyann's Christmas program at school so we picked up Daddy and then picked up Mommy, which was a little awkward. She also checked out Kayden for the program, and Papa Gene was also there. After the program Ryan and the kids came home with us and we had lunch at McDonalds and got to spend some more time with them.

A weather front came through during the night and we had some thunderstorms and high winds. It was howling down the street. Lost power for a little while but not long. It was a nasty morning so Bill didn't go to the gym and we pretty much stayed in. Made a big pot of vegetable beef soup and it was the perfect supper.

Today was cold but pretty. Bill and Ron hit the gym and I hit Walmart. Got all my Christmas shopping done which will make the grandchildren happy. I still need to buy some groceries but I won't have to go back to Walmart. We went to Perkins to eat supper and we are now in for the night.

So, we've had a very busy week, but it feels good to be home. I woke up early Friday, or late since it was midnight, and just wandered around the house for a little by the light coming through the windows. Got up  really early the other morning and enjoyed my coffee while it was still dark out. It was very peaceful.

We haven't been overwhelmed with visitors yet and have run into very few people while we've been out. But, when word gets out more that we are home, we will probably start getting more calls and visits. We aren't having Christmas with the family until after Christmas because of work/children visitation schedules. So Christmas day will be just the 2 of us and I think that will be perfect. Just being home, with Bill alive and as well as he is, is the best gift we could have been given this year.

All for tonight. Everyone stay safe and warm if it's cold where you are.

We are home! We got here about 4:30 this afternoon and it feels really good! Our neighbor Ron was waiting on us with Bill's pal Buddy Dog and Bryan and the girls showed up a few minutes later. They were a big help getting things unloaded. Now to get everything unpacked and put away. But it all doesn't have to be done tomorrow!

We went to the Heart Transplant/LVAD Support Group Christmas Dinner Tuesday evening and had a good time. We saw several people we hadn't seen for a long time, nurses, and other patients and caregivers. Dr. Patel said that Bill and another man at our table were the sickest ones he had ever seen and of everyone in the room the chance of them (Bill and Bud) being there was about 2%. He said it was quite a testimony to their will to live. I also attributed it to his dedication, but he brushed it off.

It was sad for me to leave the condo. It was my place more than Bill's for the last 15 months and it had started to become home. But, I'm certainly glad to be home. When we pulled into the driveway our neighbor was waiting for us with a wreath on the door. And then I saw the trees...yellow ribbons. That's when I lost it, and again when the grandchildren came in the door, and again when my daughter came. I'll probably cry when the other grandkids and my son come. Family...that's what it's all about!

The church sent over a meat tray and one of the ladies from the church insisted on buying the groceries I told Emily to get. Our neighbor Ron also brought us a tray of cookies and someone brought a poinsettia. The girls and I put up our little Christmas tree (which promptly fell down) so Bryan had to help. All in all a good homecoming!

All for tonight. It's been a long couple of days and I'm fading fast! Goodnight everyone!

WE ARE HOMEWARD BOUND! We finally got the biopsy results and no rejection! So we are officially released to go home. We have loaded the car and only had to ship a few things home. The last things to go in will be a tight squeeze, but at least Bill doesn't have to ride on top of the car!

We almost decided not to go to the support group dinner tonight, but We are gluing. I was stressing about getting everything done, but now that the car is loaded all that is pretty is to clean up a little.

Bill had a moment this afternoon because he couldn't help as much as he wanted with loading up. But we both got through it.

So this is the last post until we stop for the night tomorrow. Only going as far as Ozark Alabama  which is about halfway.  Wish us luck!

We've had a very busy day! Left the house before 6 this morning and got home at noon. But, it was a productive day, and a little sad again. Dr. Patel had some difficulty with the biopsy. The sheath kept hanging up on something. He said it wasn't a blood clot because it wasn't "squishy". He thought it was a ridge that had formed in the artery where it was attached to the heart. He ended up using a larger sheath, which was more painful for Bill. But, on the echo he said the heart was thumping away beautifully! He also gave me a list of instructions for follow-ups with our primary care doc, the transplant center in Memphis, and a cardiologist. And, since ours retired, we have to find a new one. We aren't transferring care to Memphis, he just wants us to touch base in case he has any problems. They can eyeball him and then tell the Mayo docs what's going on.

After the biopsy and breakfast we got the oil changed, tires rotated, filled up, mailed some packages, and paid a bill. After we got home I changed our address with the post office and updated addresses on some accounts and got the laundry going.

We said good-bye to our stroke buddy who says Bill is his inspiration. We told him we would come by and see him when we come back in February.

I still don't know if everything is going to fit in the car and if it doesn't, I don't know what we will do. I've said I will Fedex Bill home, or tie him to the top of the car. And since it looks like we will be driving through some rain Wednesday, Fedex may win out!

Tomorrow we will get the results of the biopsy and then we have the support group Christmas dinner. We're going early to take one last walk on the pier before we leave. So, until we get the results tomorrow....have a good afternoon and evening.

Today was a happy/sad day. Bill completed his cardiac rehab and graduated! All of the girls and I were crying as he made his "walk" down the aisle. We will both miss seeing them. Now the only left to do is his biopsy on Monday and he's released for awhile. Of course he will never be released. We will be coming back several times a year for another year and then it will be once a year for several days.

We had a great visit with our friends Cindi and John from Gulf Breeze. We went out to dinner and then loaded all of Bill's leftover VAD supplies into their truck. They also come back in February like we will so we're planning on stopping at their house for the night and then coming on together, as long as we're scheduled at the same time.

We still haven't finished packing but I've been sick the last 2 days. Went to the Dr. today and I have another sinus infection. At least it isn't the flu or strep. I've got a call in to Stephanie to see if there's anything special we need to do so that Bill doesn't get it. I wore a mask this morning at Mayo so I wouldn't infect any of the other transplant patients. That is a drawback of being away from other people you could call on for transportation.

Speaking of transportation, a sore spot with Bill has been driving. He's not ready for that yet as he still doesn't maintain complete control of his legs and hands. But, as usual, when we discuss it, he argues that he is able to drive. But, today, while Debbie and Lorrie were talking to us, he was very agreeable that he wasn't ready to drive. We are leaving it up to our dr. at home to make the call. We're going to look for a stroke rehab center that has a driving simulator to test him. We'll have to see how that goes. For now I will just keep all of the car keys!

Probably won't write anything over the week-end, but will let you know how the biopsy goes Monday and Tuesday's results. Have a good week-end.