This has been a week of firsts and a week of letting go.

Since Bill has been given the go-ahead to drive he's ventured off a couple of times. As a friend of mine put it, it was like watching your teenager driving off for the first time. He did drive to church the other night and should not have driven home. The evaluator told him not to drive at night but he assured me he could do it. However, he nearly missed the exit of the parking lot and he did miss the turn for home. I think he realized that she was right. He hasn't attempted to drive after dark again, but we also haven't gone out after dark.

While at church he was thrown an impromptu birthday party! Our church has a fellowship each month for birthdays and anniversaries. Last year they called Bill and sang to him. This year it was the Sunday we were coming home and the time was changed from after the evening service to after morning service. Some people felt bad when they realized that it was Bill's month...so cupcakes and ice cream Wednesday night. I told a couple of people we could just celebrate his new birthday in May, but Emily pointed out that we would miss that one too, since that is when we will be back at Mayo for another biopsy!

He also has gone out to the apartment to use the treadmill alone. I make sure he has his cellphone with him and leave him to it, which gives me about an hour alone. After being with him at the fitness center at the condo every time (I was told not to let him go alone) this has seemed very strange.

We're getting into a new routine as far as his medication goes. I take each day out of the case (we keep it sorted) and just tell him to take his medicine when it is time. I was administering it before. I still fill it for him, but at least he's figuring out which one to take when.

I also left him for an afternoon to make a run to Memphis to the dr. with Emily. The dr. was running almost 2 hours behind so we got home much later than expected. But everything went well on both ends.

His mental state has been much better this week. He hasn't repeatedly asked the same question and has cracked several jokes or made quick comebacks to comments. That is like the old Bill!

Letting go was hard to do. After being in control of things for so long it's hard to let someone else (Bill) do it. I must admit that I was a bit nervous sitting in the passenger seat of the car after doing all the driving for almost 2 years.

As we were leaving Florida last week, Don told me to keep the faith as he gave me a hug. I started to think about that and realized that, through everything that has happened in the last 2 years, I have never lost my faith. I have never questioned why it had to happen to us. Because, it has happened to US. Yes, at times I have wished he had opted to keep the LVAD and not get the transplant, but that only happens when I'm frustrated when he's having a bad day.

I also realized one day that I don't have to worry about a heart attack as much as I did before. Of course he can still have a heart attack, and won't have any warning signs such as chest pain because the nerves were severed for the transplant. But basically, as far as the heart goes, he's healthy as a horse! The main worry in the night is the risk for falls if he gets up for the bathroom. Since this realization, I slept almost all night for 3 nights in a row, something I haven't done for at least 15 years. The first night I was amazed, and even more so when it happened the next 2 nights. I woke up later in the morning feeling rested and with lots of energy! I'm only hoping it will last!

I've gotten another sinus infection and the weather has been so wacky that my allergies are really acting up. But, I've got meds on board so hopefully it won't last long.

That's about it as far as our week goes. It seems like there was another insight into something but I can't remember what it was now. I'll have to jot it down for next week if I remember it! Hope everyone has a good week!