It's a cloudy cold day this morning. Supposed to start raining sometime and continue through most of tomorrow before ending with a rain/snow mix. I really hope the groundhog predicts an early spring, but I'm not getting my hopes up!
We've had a good week, no episodes of depression, or if there were, he was controlling them. It was suggested that he magnesium might be low, so I researched this and checked on it. One of his anti-rejection meds has magnesium in it, and extra magnesium causes it not to work as well, so they are reluctant to add more. So, we're back to square one.
We went out to eat with some friends from church Wednesday. We always have a good time with them. I realized last night when I was talking with my sister, that we have not been to church this year. Bill said the other night at dinner that he gets lost during the service since he doesn't process things quickly anymore. He also told me last night that he hasn't gotten anything out of the services for quite some time. He also said he gets more from a service on TV than being present at the service. So, I have a feeling we won't be at church in the near future.
We went to Jonesboro shopping for some new clothes this week. By the time Bill had tried on pants and looked at different styles and colors he was pretty tired. I didn't find anything. I needed some new jeans and I don't like the relaxed fit. The legs are just too wide. If I found a pair that were not loose in the thighs, they were too long. Oh the joys of being short and fat! Bill knows that if I'm shopping for clothes I would rather do it alone so I may go back by myself. I'm also thinking I will order some and see how they fit. We went to a favorite Italian restaurant for lunch and then came home. It was a nice day, not too cold but windy. I can tell, still yet, that I was out in the wind. My left ear is feeling "funny" and is a little itchy.
Today is also a day when my eyes don't want to focus. They do that periodically. They are also watery, but it is a really thick "goopy" water. I've asked the eye doctor about this and was told that it's just a sign of aging and not to be too concerned about it. Easy for them to say, they don't have to work to get their eyes to focus, especially the left one. This is the eye that the retina tried to detach a few years ago, so I really watch it. This also leads to a headache, which is already starting, so it won't be a particularly productive day. Oh well, anything that needed done can wait. I'm going to load the dishwasher and that may be about it.
So, there you have it, just another normal week. See you in February!
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Saturday, January 24, 2015
We've had a pretty decent week for a change, although Saturday was not a pleasant day. It was more of the same behavior that had plagued us.
We did go to Brianna's 16th birthday party. Ironically I sat between my two husbands as we sat on the sidelines. It's a good thing we all get along!
Sunday morning Bill again decided that we were not going to church. This time it was not weather related as it was a beautiful, warm, sunny day. I decided that we needed to get out of the house anyway and just go somewhere, anywhere. We decided to head to the Ozark foothills and drove to Hardy, AR, about 2 hours from us. This is a watersports area, rafting, canoeing, tubing, and lots of trout fishing on the Spring River. We used to go there frequently for relaxing week-ends before Bill got sick, but hadn't been for a long time. There was not much traffic and it's a pretty drive at times. Seeing cut and bare cotton fields is not pretty, but you have the good with the bad. Anyway, got there about 1 and found a restaurant and had lunch, then bought gas and came home, taking a different route that the navigation system recommended. It even took the same amount of time. But, we were both relaxed the entire day and did some talking about different things. We've also decided that we need to do this at least once a month, and we don't have to wait for a week-end to do it. We shall see if we keep it up.
The rest of the week was a normal week, no flare-ups of the depression. Bill went through some clothes and weeded out all that were too big for him, which was most of what he found. He didn't realize that I had already gone through the clothes and the ones he was trying on were the ones I had already pulled. Oh well, it gave him something to do to occupy him.
I think that is what bothers him the most. Since he is so limited in what he can do, it's hard to find things he can do. Of course, I'm an enabler in this too, and I really have to work on that. It's just so much easier for me to do it than wait for him to do it. So, we both have things to work on.
There you have it, our week in review.
We did go to Brianna's 16th birthday party. Ironically I sat between my two husbands as we sat on the sidelines. It's a good thing we all get along!
Sunday morning Bill again decided that we were not going to church. This time it was not weather related as it was a beautiful, warm, sunny day. I decided that we needed to get out of the house anyway and just go somewhere, anywhere. We decided to head to the Ozark foothills and drove to Hardy, AR, about 2 hours from us. This is a watersports area, rafting, canoeing, tubing, and lots of trout fishing on the Spring River. We used to go there frequently for relaxing week-ends before Bill got sick, but hadn't been for a long time. There was not much traffic and it's a pretty drive at times. Seeing cut and bare cotton fields is not pretty, but you have the good with the bad. Anyway, got there about 1 and found a restaurant and had lunch, then bought gas and came home, taking a different route that the navigation system recommended. It even took the same amount of time. But, we were both relaxed the entire day and did some talking about different things. We've also decided that we need to do this at least once a month, and we don't have to wait for a week-end to do it. We shall see if we keep it up.
The rest of the week was a normal week, no flare-ups of the depression. Bill went through some clothes and weeded out all that were too big for him, which was most of what he found. He didn't realize that I had already gone through the clothes and the ones he was trying on were the ones I had already pulled. Oh well, it gave him something to do to occupy him.
I think that is what bothers him the most. Since he is so limited in what he can do, it's hard to find things he can do. Of course, I'm an enabler in this too, and I really have to work on that. It's just so much easier for me to do it than wait for him to do it. So, we both have things to work on.
There you have it, our week in review.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
It's been another week of some ups and downs. Bill's numbers seem to have stabilized, I think. We're still checking them.
We were supposed to get freezing rain Sunday and Bill decided on Saturday that we would stay home from church. We ended up getting mostly rain, which was a good thing. Bill stayed in bed until nearly 10:30, highly unusual for him. I gave him his medicine at the usual time and told him he could stay in bed if he wanted. He usually gets up anyway since he has always been a morning person. So, I finally checked on him, (old habits die hard) he was dressed and the bed was made, but he was laying on it. He told me he thought he should talk to Dr. Salguerio, his former psychiatrist. He said that he was feeling useless and not good for anything, which was the cause of some of his recent behavior, to prove to himself that he wasn't old. I was very pleased to hear him say this since I had expected that depression was the cause of everything. He was, as I said before, exhibiting some of the same signs as before.
So we had a very good relaxing day and talked some more about different things. Church folks checked on us and I reminded them that with a weak immune system and all the sickness around we were staying away from most crowds.
I finally got through to Dr. Salguerio's office on Tuesday, even though the message said they are in the office on Monday and Tuesday, they are only there on Tuesday. We were a little disappointed that he won't take Bill back as a patient, mainly because he doesn't know how long this office will be open. He does have another office about 30 minutes from here. So, we're going to see about going up there. We both didn't want him to have to start over with another dr, but if that's what has to be done, that's what we will do.
The end of the week was not as good as the beginning, although there weren't any major issues, just being a little secretive and acting like someone caught in the act of doing something wrong. So, I know, that deep down, where the "real" Bill is, he knows that he's acting out some, but doesn't know how to stop it. I may start adding a Xanax to his morning and evening pills. He still has some and maybe the calming effect would help. I don't like being devious with him, but I also don't like walking on eggshells, and I said I wouldn't do that anymore. I asked Bill if he wanted to start taking them and he said no, so we'll see.
I didn't sleep much Thursday night so was very tired and cranky yesterday, with a headache most of the day. Bill finally went out to walk on the treadmill which gave me a little respite. He also got a haircut this week so another hour alone. It's better than nothing!
On brighter notes, yesterday was our granddaughter Brianna's 16th birthday. She's such a lovely young lady. Her parents have done a good job with her. Tonight is the big birthday bash. We'll go for awhile, don't know if we will stay for all of it or not. And, yesterday grandchild #34 made her entrance into the world! Petra Rose Palacios arrived, a little early, but healthy. She is named after her parents mothers. I've only seen 1 picture and she's got the fattest little cheeks! Don't I sound like the doting grandmother! We'll be planning a trip to Oklahoma before long to see her!
We got a letter from Stephanie for Bill's 6 month labwork. We can get them done here and not have to travel to Mayo just for that. So, next month we'll make an early trip to Jonesboro, get the labs done, breakfast out, then get my anniversary ring inspected and maybe do some shopping. That will be something different for us to do!
My word of the year is not working well and I could tell it wasn't going to when I woke up on January 2. So, maybe I'll change it before too much more time has passed. It seemed right at the time, but not now.
That's all the news from here. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. This is only a bump in the road and we will manage to make it over it. Happy Saturday!
We were supposed to get freezing rain Sunday and Bill decided on Saturday that we would stay home from church. We ended up getting mostly rain, which was a good thing. Bill stayed in bed until nearly 10:30, highly unusual for him. I gave him his medicine at the usual time and told him he could stay in bed if he wanted. He usually gets up anyway since he has always been a morning person. So, I finally checked on him, (old habits die hard) he was dressed and the bed was made, but he was laying on it. He told me he thought he should talk to Dr. Salguerio, his former psychiatrist. He said that he was feeling useless and not good for anything, which was the cause of some of his recent behavior, to prove to himself that he wasn't old. I was very pleased to hear him say this since I had expected that depression was the cause of everything. He was, as I said before, exhibiting some of the same signs as before.
So we had a very good relaxing day and talked some more about different things. Church folks checked on us and I reminded them that with a weak immune system and all the sickness around we were staying away from most crowds.
I finally got through to Dr. Salguerio's office on Tuesday, even though the message said they are in the office on Monday and Tuesday, they are only there on Tuesday. We were a little disappointed that he won't take Bill back as a patient, mainly because he doesn't know how long this office will be open. He does have another office about 30 minutes from here. So, we're going to see about going up there. We both didn't want him to have to start over with another dr, but if that's what has to be done, that's what we will do.
The end of the week was not as good as the beginning, although there weren't any major issues, just being a little secretive and acting like someone caught in the act of doing something wrong. So, I know, that deep down, where the "real" Bill is, he knows that he's acting out some, but doesn't know how to stop it. I may start adding a Xanax to his morning and evening pills. He still has some and maybe the calming effect would help. I don't like being devious with him, but I also don't like walking on eggshells, and I said I wouldn't do that anymore. I asked Bill if he wanted to start taking them and he said no, so we'll see.
I didn't sleep much Thursday night so was very tired and cranky yesterday, with a headache most of the day. Bill finally went out to walk on the treadmill which gave me a little respite. He also got a haircut this week so another hour alone. It's better than nothing!
On brighter notes, yesterday was our granddaughter Brianna's 16th birthday. She's such a lovely young lady. Her parents have done a good job with her. Tonight is the big birthday bash. We'll go for awhile, don't know if we will stay for all of it or not. And, yesterday grandchild #34 made her entrance into the world! Petra Rose Palacios arrived, a little early, but healthy. She is named after her parents mothers. I've only seen 1 picture and she's got the fattest little cheeks! Don't I sound like the doting grandmother! We'll be planning a trip to Oklahoma before long to see her!
We got a letter from Stephanie for Bill's 6 month labwork. We can get them done here and not have to travel to Mayo just for that. So, next month we'll make an early trip to Jonesboro, get the labs done, breakfast out, then get my anniversary ring inspected and maybe do some shopping. That will be something different for us to do!
My word of the year is not working well and I could tell it wasn't going to when I woke up on January 2. So, maybe I'll change it before too much more time has passed. It seemed right at the time, but not now.
That's all the news from here. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. This is only a bump in the road and we will manage to make it over it. Happy Saturday!
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Good Morning from the frozen mid-south! It's a balmy 17 degrees with a windchill of 11! But, so many of you out there are so much colder. We don't have the snow to deal with...yet.
We've had a week of ups and downs, and it seems like it's been more down than anything. Sunday night Bill was up 5 times during the night using the bathroom. So, that triggered thoughts about his sugar being up. He had a problem with it in the hospital and nursing home, but they thought it was probably due to the feeding tube. It did settle down and he hasn't had a problem since he got out of rehab. I tested him when he got up and his fasting number was pretty high. For those of you who don't have to worry about this, normal fasting is below 100. Normal, 2 hours after eating, is between 120 and 140. I kept track of it for a few days, consulted with our local dr. office, and it has settled back down some. We didn't eat a lot of sweets through the holidays, but I started watching and, if there was something sweet in the house, Bill was eating it. So, once this stuff is gone, no more. One of his meds can also cause diabetes, and his father had it in the later years of his life. Just one more thing for me to worry about!
I don't know if blood sugar fluctuations can affect mental processes, but I suspect it can. His thought processes have been out of character. This also happened right before and during the time he was diagnosed with depression before his last heart attack. We have had several disagreements over things that he thinks should be done. Then, the next day, everything is back on an even keel. Maybe I'm just too used to the way things are/have been lately and don't want to deal with the change. But, deep down, I'm thinking he needs to go see Dr. Salguerio again for a bit. I've told him that his current thinking is reminding me of that time, but he won't hear it. So, I'm waiting and watching. But, I've told him I won't walk on eggshells again, afraid to say anything that I know he won't like just to avoid his reaction (which won't be pretty). He told me at that time that if he's acting out to let him know, and I reminded him of that the other day, but it didn't sink in. We'll just have to see how the next few days go. Still another thing for me to worry about!
On a good note, when his meds came in this week, Bill filled his own weekly container! I sat beside him and talked him through it. But, I had typed out a new instruction sheet to keep in his medicine box, and he followed it line by line. I'll see if he remembers how to do it tomorrow when it's time to fill his weekly container again.
It's been so cold here, but better than a lot of the country! We finally left the house on Thursday night to go out to eat. Thankfully my car has seat warmers and a heated steering wheel! Bill stays so cold and he kept saying we needed to go back to Florida, until I told him that it snowed at the Jacksonville Zoo Thursday! We could get some rain/freezing rain/snow tomorrow morning and again early Monday morning. We do like to spend time in each other's company, but I'm needing a me day, at least for an hour or so. Since it's been so cold Bill hasn't walked around to his man cave to use the treadmill. He's supposed to go with Ron today to get some car parts or something which should take 2-3 hours. He wasn't going to go, but I told him I needed him to.
We're taking Brianna shopping today for softball cleats for her birthday. Doesn't seem like much of a Sweet 16 gift, but it's what she wanted. We had McKenna after school yesterday until her mom got off work and she talked from the minute she walked in the door. She was trying to go to the kitchen to get a snack and she didn't get past the doorway to the dining room before she had to come back and tell us something else!
I think that's it for this week. I need to get us some breakfast before Ron calls/comes by for Bill. Stay warm!
UPDATE: Ron came by and the parts he wanted aren't available so they aren't going. There goes my me day. Oh well, there will be another one.
We've had a week of ups and downs, and it seems like it's been more down than anything. Sunday night Bill was up 5 times during the night using the bathroom. So, that triggered thoughts about his sugar being up. He had a problem with it in the hospital and nursing home, but they thought it was probably due to the feeding tube. It did settle down and he hasn't had a problem since he got out of rehab. I tested him when he got up and his fasting number was pretty high. For those of you who don't have to worry about this, normal fasting is below 100. Normal, 2 hours after eating, is between 120 and 140. I kept track of it for a few days, consulted with our local dr. office, and it has settled back down some. We didn't eat a lot of sweets through the holidays, but I started watching and, if there was something sweet in the house, Bill was eating it. So, once this stuff is gone, no more. One of his meds can also cause diabetes, and his father had it in the later years of his life. Just one more thing for me to worry about!
I don't know if blood sugar fluctuations can affect mental processes, but I suspect it can. His thought processes have been out of character. This also happened right before and during the time he was diagnosed with depression before his last heart attack. We have had several disagreements over things that he thinks should be done. Then, the next day, everything is back on an even keel. Maybe I'm just too used to the way things are/have been lately and don't want to deal with the change. But, deep down, I'm thinking he needs to go see Dr. Salguerio again for a bit. I've told him that his current thinking is reminding me of that time, but he won't hear it. So, I'm waiting and watching. But, I've told him I won't walk on eggshells again, afraid to say anything that I know he won't like just to avoid his reaction (which won't be pretty). He told me at that time that if he's acting out to let him know, and I reminded him of that the other day, but it didn't sink in. We'll just have to see how the next few days go. Still another thing for me to worry about!
On a good note, when his meds came in this week, Bill filled his own weekly container! I sat beside him and talked him through it. But, I had typed out a new instruction sheet to keep in his medicine box, and he followed it line by line. I'll see if he remembers how to do it tomorrow when it's time to fill his weekly container again.
It's been so cold here, but better than a lot of the country! We finally left the house on Thursday night to go out to eat. Thankfully my car has seat warmers and a heated steering wheel! Bill stays so cold and he kept saying we needed to go back to Florida, until I told him that it snowed at the Jacksonville Zoo Thursday! We could get some rain/freezing rain/snow tomorrow morning and again early Monday morning. We do like to spend time in each other's company, but I'm needing a me day, at least for an hour or so. Since it's been so cold Bill hasn't walked around to his man cave to use the treadmill. He's supposed to go with Ron today to get some car parts or something which should take 2-3 hours. He wasn't going to go, but I told him I needed him to.
We're taking Brianna shopping today for softball cleats for her birthday. Doesn't seem like much of a Sweet 16 gift, but it's what she wanted. We had McKenna after school yesterday until her mom got off work and she talked from the minute she walked in the door. She was trying to go to the kitchen to get a snack and she didn't get past the doorway to the dining room before she had to come back and tell us something else!
I think that's it for this week. I need to get us some breakfast before Ron calls/comes by for Bill. Stay warm!
UPDATE: Ron came by and the parts he wanted aren't available so they aren't going. There goes my me day. Oh well, there will be another one.
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Happy New Year!
We've had a pretty quiet week. We made it to church Sunday and then went to Ryann's to pick up Kayden. Kiyann only stayed 1 night and came home with Emily after having their Christmas with her dad. Kayden told me he had a good time this time and does want to go back, which is a good sign!
We finally got all the Christmas decorations taken down and packed away yesterday. The boxes haven't made it to the attic yet, but at least it's been put away for another year.
Bill spent some more time at his computer and wrote me a letter yesterday. That was something we had done even before we were married. So, progress made yet again! He's also been walking on his treadmill more. He must have made some resolutions as we haven't sat together to make our schedule of things.
We did take my car to Jackson for the 1st oil change. I can't believe we've put almost 5000 miles on it, and we've only had it since the end of September. Wait, yes I can believe it, trip to Florida, trip to Illinois, using it 99% of the time for anything else.
There is so much sickness around now I almost hate to leave the house. I'm still stuffy and Bill started sneezing during the night last night and seems a little stuffy this morning.
It's warmer this morning than it has been for about 2 weeks. It's also raining and we're supposed to get 1-2 inches before the day is out. We have a flash flood watch until this evening. It's still very dark out and probably won't get much brighter. After the front goes through the bottom is supposed to drop out of the temperature and a couple of days next week we won't get out of the 20s.
I've just about finished Brianna's afghan. I only have about 12 rows to go and then weaving in the ends. Luckily it's a pattern that doesn't need to be blocked. I'm ready for it to be done.
That's about it for this 1st post of 2015. I hope you all have a good year. See you next week!
We've had a pretty quiet week. We made it to church Sunday and then went to Ryann's to pick up Kayden. Kiyann only stayed 1 night and came home with Emily after having their Christmas with her dad. Kayden told me he had a good time this time and does want to go back, which is a good sign!
We finally got all the Christmas decorations taken down and packed away yesterday. The boxes haven't made it to the attic yet, but at least it's been put away for another year.
Bill spent some more time at his computer and wrote me a letter yesterday. That was something we had done even before we were married. So, progress made yet again! He's also been walking on his treadmill more. He must have made some resolutions as we haven't sat together to make our schedule of things.
We did take my car to Jackson for the 1st oil change. I can't believe we've put almost 5000 miles on it, and we've only had it since the end of September. Wait, yes I can believe it, trip to Florida, trip to Illinois, using it 99% of the time for anything else.
There is so much sickness around now I almost hate to leave the house. I'm still stuffy and Bill started sneezing during the night last night and seems a little stuffy this morning.
It's warmer this morning than it has been for about 2 weeks. It's also raining and we're supposed to get 1-2 inches before the day is out. We have a flash flood watch until this evening. It's still very dark out and probably won't get much brighter. After the front goes through the bottom is supposed to drop out of the temperature and a couple of days next week we won't get out of the 20s.
I've just about finished Brianna's afghan. I only have about 12 rows to go and then weaving in the ends. Luckily it's a pattern that doesn't need to be blocked. I'm ready for it to be done.
That's about it for this 1st post of 2015. I hope you all have a good year. See you next week!
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