What a difference a day makes! When I walked to Bill's room and stopped outside the door to gown up I could see that the lights and TV were on. His nurse said that he had been looking for me since she came on at 7 and he wanted her to call me to find out where I was!

I went in and he was awake and alert and had the remote for the TV and was trying to change the channel (or maybe thought it was a phone and was trying to figure out where the numbers were to call me). 

He started talking, and I mean voice talking around the trach, the minute I walked in. Once I put everything down and stood by the bed, he started asking questions. He wanted to know where he was and what happened and how long it had been. So, we talked about what happened. He didn't remember anything about the nursing home and when I told him that his oxygen level had gotten to 44 before they called me and that his body was shutting down, all he said was wow. He then skipped subjects a little bit and said he wanted to go to the bedroom, he was tired of that room!

At one point he reached his hand over the side of the bed and when I reached for it, he shook his head and said coffee. He wanted my coffee cup! I told him he couldn't drink anything with the tube in his throat and he said his mouth and throat were very dry so I told him we would see about getting something for that.

I told him about the peg tube and that it would probably stay but just to make sure he got enough to eat and so far he is OK with that. But, he took in a lot of information in a short period of time.

He let Jessica administer his meds and do what she needed to do without getting combative like he had the other day with Austin and he let her clean his mouth. I think that his sinuses are draining some. It looked like the secretions in his mouth were rather thick. But, when he coughed and asked her to suction him, she barely got anything out. And he wasn't gurgly at all. He did do some coughing but it wasn't anything bad.

Again, he had been up all night. Instead of giving him the benadryl the night nurse just increased the dosage of the anti-anxiety med, which doesn't make you sleepy. So I told Jessica there should be an order for benadryl and to use that. So, he slept off and on most of the day. But, whenever he would wake up, he would start talking again.

They had not been able to use the trach collar Friday. It just got too busy in the unit for Bishop to be able to watch over him as he needed. So, about noon, they put it on. At first he said he couldn't breathe but I talked him through it, telling him that he was getting all the air he needed through the tube and he just needed to breathe slowly. He finally slowed his breathing down and did really well. We noticed that when he was sleeping, and not thinking about what he was doing, his numbers were fantastic. His oxygen level at 99 or 100 and his respiration rate was 20. They want it between 15 and 30. He is off the medicine to raise his blood pressure and it stayed good all day. He's still on the one to keep his heart rate above 80, but on a low dose.

Jessica was going to give him a bath before I left, but after she did his trach care, which is painful for him, his numbers went down some so she decided to let them come back up and then do his bath when they put him back on CPAP. That way they could increase his oxygen flow if necessary.

Dr. Edwards came in and explained his reasoning on why he didn't want to send him to restorative care, and it makes sense and if he had said that in the beginning, I wouldn't have questioned it. He said that right now, because Bill still has so much thick mucus, he needs the respiratory care he gets in the ICU. He has not ruled restorative care out at a later date, but he wants to get a handle on the secretions first.

All of the drs. said he sounded good yesterday, so maybe they finally got enought of the stuff out. I did notice when Jessica changed the inner cannula, it was pretty junky and that stuff is so thick and sticky. He also has an open sore, more like a blister, under the sponge they keep to catch any secretions when he is on the trach collar. So she was going to advise Dr. Threlkeld to see what he could order for that. She thought the cream with lidocaine wouldn't dry it up and might burn it and the only other thing he had was nystatin for yeast. He probably needs more of a neosporin/hydrocortisone cream.

He was still on the collar when I left so I don't know how long they planned to leave him on, and it had been 4 hours then. So I'll see how he is this morning.

I haven't decided if I'm staying in Memphis tomorrow night or coming home. Our street will sound like a war zone at midnight. I've lived here for more than 30 years and have yet to understand the reasoning behind firing guns at midnight. And yes, they fire into the air, but it has to come down somewhere! The police have said that they will not condone gunfire and there will be extra patrols out. Our neighborhood, on some of the other streets, are very active on New Years Eve with the weapons. So, I'm kind of torn between staying at the hospital where it's safe, and not mess with the crazy traffic, or come home to make sure everything is OK with the cats and the house. If I do decide to come home, I'll leave before the festivities really get started. I think it is also supposed to start raining tonight (might be a fun drive home tonight) and rain most of the day tomorrow. There is also the Liberty Bowl football game to consider. I saw several charter buses travelling together on the way home and if I remember right Missouri is playing in the game so it was probably their team and fans. I also saw a Mizzou panel truck heading south, probably equipment for either the players or the band. Funny the things you notice!

So, That was the great day we had yesterday. And, I set a new personal record...I had not cried since Wednesday! I think. That's the last day I remember crying, whether good or bad. I didn't cry when he stood the other day, so I'm thinking Wednesday was the last day. I don't know how long it will last, may end today. But I think the days of daily tears are in the past. And the tears aren't tears of sadness, they come mostly when people are nice. That's what gets to me the most, a kind word or hug and it's over. But, until it happens again, I'm going to relish it, that I got through the day, made my goal of not crying.

That's it, time to start getting ready to leave so that Mr. Impatient won't be going crazy looking for me!