Our old year did not end well, and the new year is not starting out well. Bill is not getting better. Wednesday night he started having shortness of breath when he was walking, and all he was doing was walking to the bathroom. It happened again when he walked to the bedroom and again from the bedroom to the bathroom. I measured it in steps and it is about 20 steps from his side of the bed to the commode. He would just be gasping for air and the look on his face was pure terror that he couldn't breathe.

Yesterday morning I took him to the dr. and we had to have a wheelchair meet us in the parking lot. Thankfully our daughter works there! We were there all morning. Had some labs done, but weren't able to get x-rays or EKG because of the short hours. It was decided that he should be on oxygen at home. So, a wonderful medical supplies rep came in on her day off and got everything ordered. They also wanted us to have a nebulizer, but insurance wouldn't pay for it since he doesn't have a diagnosis of COPD. So, she worked with her office and we got the machine at cost for $50. The plan they have right now for him is to use the oxygen and the nebulizer, both as needed. But they would prefer the oxygen 24/7 and the nebulizer every 4 hours. They also increased the antibiotic (length of time, not strength) and added some prednisone. He's to go back Monday morning for a chest x-ray and EKG. Of course they said if he still has problems to take him back to ER since it is a 4 day week-end. They did say they would take to Mayo before the day was out, but I haven't heard from them.

I was in total brain overload yesterday by the time the oxygen was set up and I was shown how to use it. It is very simple, so far, and I managed to get his 2 small tanks filled with no problems. I have the technician's # and he said as long as I call with a problem before 10 the night before or first thing in the morning, he will re-arrange his schedule. He said oxygen patients get priority. The concentrator running all the time has now shattered my total silence quiet time in the morning. I suppose I could sit at my desktop computer instead of using my laptop in the recliner, but it's just not the same. Some how being curled up with a cup of coffee in the dark is more appealing than sitting at the computer stand. I suppose I'll get used to it.

One thing we found out yesterday is that Bill's bloodwork from the hospital was NOT normal, as the Dr. had told us. It shows there is some fluid at the bottom of his heart which could easily explain the shortness of breath. That could also be 2 things. It could signal that congestive heart failure is beginning with this heart, or it could be that he is now trying for some reason to reject the heart. They repeated the test yesterday but won't have the results until Monday. Again, because of the holiday.

I asked Bill when I took him his meds this morning if he wanted me to call the transplant cardiologist on call at Mayo and see what they suggest or if he wanted to just wait until Monday. I told him it was only Friday and he said he thought he could wait. I told him I didn't know if I could. I'm so stressed right now!!!

He just came out of the bedroom and said he wanted to discuss something with me. He wants to go to Florida. I don't think I can get him to Florida right now, but I can get him to Memphis and let those transplant drs. take a look at him. They can then confer with Mayo better on a plan. We did notice that he was not as winded walking out this morning. On one hand he wants to continue to wait through the week-end, but on the other hand he wants to just get in the car and go. We have decided that we are going to see how he does through the day as far as his breathing goes and tomorrow call Mayo. I told him that if I drive him to Memphis, he will have to go through the emergency room. But, I can take him to our ER, have Mayo call them and tell them to ship to Memphis and he will be a direct admit to the cardiac unit. That is the way it will go and we will take it from there as to how and when we get to Mayo. 

So, we've started the new year with a good cry and a heart to heart talk (no pun intended). I know this isn't the upbeat post, but right now, or at least when I started it, there was nothing to be upbeat about.

We didn't have too much gunfire in the neighborhood last night, far less than usual. The police had put the word out that there would be zero tolerance for gunfire inside the city limits and they would be patrolling the neighborhoods. I heard some, nothing extremely close, and it didn't last long.

I hope your new year is starting out better than ours. I wish you happiness, health, and all things good for the coming year. My word for the year is CHANGE. Or at least I think it is change. My words for the last 2 years have not been good choices. But, I need to make some changes personally, so we will see if I can make it happen.