This was a week of ups and downs, but more ups than downs. I actually made it almost 3 days without crying.

Didn't do much for the holiday week-end. The guys got all the wood and insulation put up and covered with plastic right before the rains came. And that's been the last work done. As with most projects, there have been some glitches. Lowe's didn't come to measure for the door until Wednesday and I can't order the door until I get the specs on what size to order. And, the siding can't be finished until the door is hung. So, we've been at a standstill all week. I was able to keep the dumpster so that helped. Maybe I'll get an email about the quote tomorrow.

I did go to Emily's for dinner on Monday. Bryan smoked meatloaf and it was really good. Didn't stay a long time. I find that I still get nervous around people, even though it is family. So, I ate and ran, didn't even stay for dessert. But dinner was good anyway.

I went through some things Tuesday and did normal things, like all the laundry. It had been so long since I did it all instead of just what I needed for 3 or 4 days. I looked all over for the flag that Bill got when he retired from the Air Force and finally found it in a back corner shelf of the coat closet. Now if I could only find his mounting of ribbons and his box of medals. I still have a few more places to look for those. I also checked on the kitties and they are better, but not ready to come home.

Tuesday evening the crematory called and said that everything was ready and if I was going to be home she would bring everything by. That was tough. It wasn't hard to read the death certificate, but it was extremely hard to open that box with the container of ashes. But, I did it. I was surprised at how heavy it was! I was also given a small Ziploc bag of very fine ash that could be used in jewelry or decoration. I have decided that I'm not going to divide his ashes. They are all going to be buried.

Wednesday I called the district Veteran's Office and there was no answer, or voicemail. I can understand if the office is closed, but there should be, at the very least a voicemail, and possibly have the calls forwarded to a cellphone. So, instead of waiting any longer, I gathered my list of places that needed notified since I had the death certificates and called them all myself. Surprisingly, it was all very easy to do. The customer service reps with all of the different places were very polite and not overly solicitous with condolences. Everyone was contacted and paperwork is starting to come in. I'm still waiting on the biggies, the VA, SS, and the military. 

Yesterday I was feeling a little restless, so I left early in the morning and drove to the Arkansas State Veteran's Cemetary. It's about an hour and a half away and I wanted to check it out in person before making a decision of using it. It is a very lovely, serene setting. There are several sections and since it is only about 2 years old, there are a lot of available plots. I wasn't able to talk to anyone as the door was locked, at least on the end of the visitor center I was at. But, I drove through it. There's a flag plaza and further down is a committal pavilion where services can be held that overlooks a pond. From what I read today, they will not open a grave while the family it present. So, the ceremony will be held in the pavilion and after we leave, they will bury his ashes. I think Bill would appreciate the fact that it's out in the country. He knew I liked driving on country roads instead of highways. So, once I get the packet from the VA I can make those arrangements. 

Today I hadn't planned on doing any "business", but when I went to the grocery store, the debit card was declined. So, I went home and got my packet of everything and headed to the bank. The lobby is open by appointment only, so I sat in the parking lot and called them. I hadn't thought that the debit card was just in Bill's name (I always had the checkbook) and that was why it was declined. Social Security doesn't waste any time. When they are notified of a death, they don't sit on it! I  was able to get a new debit card in my name, and until I know that all automatic deposits have been made, I don't have to do anything with the account. Once everything has come in his name, I can have his name taken off the account. I will be able to keep the same account. We've had it for 30 years and I really didn't want to learn a new account number. They made a copy of the death certificate and just told me to call when I was ready to redo the account. The girl was nice enough to bring everything to me in the parking lot. While I was sitting there I called the Credit Union and talked to a friend who works there. They were also aware he had died and that the military deposit was going to be deposited and then immediately reversed. Bobbie told me she had just mailed me a letter about it. I told her I knew they were going to do it. And the same applies, when everything in Bill's name has been processed, it will be changed over to just my name.

I figured after that I may as well contact the utility companies and was able to transfer all of those to my name with no trouble at all. I was afraid I was going to have to pay deposits again, but I was on all of the accounts as a responsible party so it was just a name change. I did have to get a new account number for the gas company, but no deposits.

I've felt like I didn't do anything today, but I did. I told Emily the strange thing was that my eyes hurt like I had been crying for hours, and I hadn't shed a tear! So, I don't know what that was about.

I checked on the cats again yesterday afternoon and they are much better. Margaret said that yesterday (Thursday) was the first day that Cat had not thrown up. And they've been there a week! She said Mouse is still sneezing, but not as much. But, he doesn't want to release them yet since they had to come back so soon after the last time.

I'm going shopping with Emily and the girls tomorrow. I need some new shoes and there's a Skechers store at the Tanger Outlet Mall in Mississippi, just south of Memphis. I told her I don't know how long I'll hold up. I'm not the best shopper to begin with and she is a marathon shopper. But, she said there are only a few places they need to go. So, we'll see what happens.

That's about it. I've had a couple of sleepless nights this week. I'm not sure why as I've gone right to sleep. But, when I wake up about an hour later, which is normal, I can't go back to sleep, even with Benadryl. But, I don't have to get up at any special time, so I've gotten up and played computer games in the dark until I can't see straight. We'll see what happens tonight. I don't want to get in the habit of taking something to help me sleep. I take enough pills as it is.

It doesn't seem possible that May is almost over already. It already feels like summer and the forecast for us is 90s next week already. I hate to see what July and August will be like!