William L Haven, Jr. passed away peacefully on May 16, 2020 with his wife at his side.

I was going to make this post his obituary, but when I started writing it, my mind just stopped working. So, the rest is just going to be a regular post.

I had stayed at the hospital, of course and while he had a fairly quiet night, his breathing changed some and he was doing more guppy breathing which is more gasping that regular breathing. His blood pressure was again fluctuating and his oxygen sats were irregular. I couldn't tell if it was from the breathing or if he had his hand closed over the probe. I did try to open his hand and his fingers had contracted some in the night. And, as usual, it was very swollen.

When the lung Dr. came in he said that he understood that we were not going to make any additional treatment changes and I told him yes. He then came and sat down beside me and asked if we were Christian folks. I told him yes and he told me that keeping Bill with us was keeping him from his glory. That really hit home to me. So when Dr. Yaranov came in a few minutes later, I told him it was time to stop everything. He didn't hesitate and just said that he would go get the paperwork started and shut the door as he left the room.

I told Bill that I was so blessed to have known him and thanked him for showing me the person I could be. I also told him that he had told me that life with him would be an adventure, and it was. He barely opened his eyes then for just a split second.

I was assigned a nurse and Bill was assigned the nurse that would have been his nurse for the day. Sara explained what would happen and then said that everything was up to me, they could stay in the room or it could be just the two of us. He was given three different medicines so that he would feel no pain or discomfort and the other meds were all stopped. The vent was shut off and he was put on trach collar. Sara silenced most of the alarms on the monitor and I told her I wanted to be alone with him.

As I watched him breathe, and watched his sats drop, along with his blood pressure, I started singing the chorus to his go-to song when he was song leader at church. When he couldn't find any other hymn that spoke to him for that day, he always picked "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus". For those of you who aren't familiar with the chorus it says:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

I sang it over and over, sometimes through tear, and other times just softly. He frowned once and I smoothed his brow and told him there was no frowning in Heaven. And, as I finished the chorus one last time, he took his final breath. I whispered that to be absent from the body was to be present with the Lord and kissed his cheek.

It was such a peaceful passing and took just about an hour. Sara and Molly came in and then told me to take all the time I needed they would notify the doctor. I didn't know if he would have to come in and actually assess him to make sure he was gone, but they had been watching the monitors and saw everything flatten out, so they were able to just print out the death certificate, or some paperwork, and sign that.

I gave Molly the information for the funeral home and was still able to spend as much time with him as I wanted. I didn't know it at the time, but they had put a sign on the door not to enter without checking with the nurses so I wouldn't be bothered. Dr. Threlkeld did come in to give me a hug and tell me what a good person Bill was, and then what a faithful wife I was. Other nurses started popping their heads in, or came in for a quick hug. Social distancing was thrown out the window for the time being.

Molly came back in and said they were going to get him all cleaned up and all the lines removed and wanted to know if I wanted to stay with him in the room until the funeral home came or if I wanted them to take him to the morgue until they arrived. I knew that it could be several hours before they got there, and I also knew the room needed to be cleaned. So, I said I knew they would take care of him and that the morgue would be fine. And, I grabbed everything I had there, and walked out one last time, getting still more hugs along the way.

Even though I've had 6 months, 181 days to be exact, to get used to living alone, it feels different now. I guess it's knowing that he's not at the hospital and I can't go see him. But, I also feel free. And I don't mean that in a bad way. There's just a sense of release, for me and for Bill. Yes, I have cried periodically today. I called my best friend on the way home and she immediately started crying, which made me start to cry and I told her to stop I was driving. In typical fashion she told me to pull over!

We did the business of death this afternoon, signing the paperwork authorizing the cremation. Emily was with me for that and the representative made it very easy. She came to the house and went over everything. The one thing I hadn't considered is that he died in Tennessee so it's going to take longer before she can actually do the cremation. Everything in Tennessee has to go through the crime lab first. Not an autopsy, just the paperwork, before they will issue the death certificate. And without the death certificate she can't do anything.

For anyone local, we are not having any kind of service at this time. With so many family members living out of town and it not being safe to travel, we will do that at a later date. I will somehow left everyone know.

I've had to wait to post this until the last 2 family members were told and that wasn't until this afternoon. 

There, of course, won't be daily posts anymore. And I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with this now. But, that's something for another day.

Bill was well-loved by everyone who knew him. He never met a stranger and could get along with anyone. His smile could light up a room. Here's my favorite picture of him.

His was a life well-lived!