Yesterday's bad day was just a precursor for today. Again, Bill was very angry about not getting food and the way he is being treated, with no one letting him do anything and they are not doing anything for him there. This is becoming an every week-end event. I think it's more to do with not having the structure that he has during the week with therapy every day. Since he doesn't have anything on week-ends I think it throws him off, even though I suggested several things that could be done.

The morning started fine and he even used his computer some to check his email. We also spent a lot of time outside. John, Heather and the kids came for awhile. It was while we were waiting for them to come that he started with the complaints.

At one point this afternoon he left his room and let himself out onto the patio in the other wing. He wheeled himself into a corner and sat pouting for quite awhile. I stayed in and watched through the windows. One of the CNAs went out and talked to him for awhile and he finally decided to come in.

I've tried everything from being gentle and understanding to telling him how it makes me feel when he starts talking about just giving up. He mentioned several times that he was being tied down, and when his feeding tube was connected that was just about the last straw. He was nasty to his nurse when he came in for meds and wasn't going to let him give them until I told him he was just being mean and ugly. He also made ugly comments when I told him I was coming home.

I know that it's a combination of the stroke and meds, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. It just brings me down too. So, I come home and cry and get things ready to do it all over again tomorrow, not knowing if he's still going to be in this mood or if he'll be back to himself after he sleeps. At least he'll be getting some Xanax tonight if he hasn't already gotten it. He may need to have some during the day, too if these mood swings keep up.

So, pray for guidance for me and rest and understanding for both of us. Tomorrow is already going to be a sad day with John and everyone leaving. But, Don and Shirley are coming for the evening so maybe that will help him some.

Sorry for dumping on everyone.