After yesterday's bronch, I had high hopes for today, but was disappointed when I came in and he was gasping for air with his heart rate in the 120 range and his oxygen only at 89. But, I could tell he was just panicking for some reason and when his nurse came I told her he needed some xanax. I caught her before she gowned up to come into the room and she didn't question anything, just made sure she had it with his meds.

I asked him, as I always do, if he wants to keep fighting and went over what we would do. I told him it was alright, that I would let him go, even though it would be hard. And today, at first he said yes! When I asked again he said no, so I asked a third time and again it was no.

It took awhile for the xanax to kick in, and the effect didn't last long, but at least he wasn't gasping as much. Dr. Threlkeld said that the antibiotics will end either today or tomorrow, but overall he looks good. The resident with the lung group that is following him said that pseudomonas has already shown up in the samples they took, but he didn't know if it was the same strain or not. Sharon, his nurse, told him that they are seeing a little blood when they are suctioning, and he thinks it could be due to the bronch and the fragility of his lungs. He coughed quite hard a bit ago and it was also bloody. So, we'll just keep an eye on that.

The resident also mentioned that they are talking about moving him back upstairs again and I told him I had no idea on that. I also don't know how I feel about that. He also mentioned palliative care and I told him the plan. He thought it was a good one, that if Bill just stops responding for me to take over to make the decision. And since the decision has been made, I just have to tell them.

Therapy came this afternoon and Bill didn't gripe about working with them. They sat him on the side of the bed for quite awhile while they got some things ready, and then he stood and pivoted to the chair! They said that 20 minutes would be plenty of time for him to stay up and as of right now, it is just shy of 2 hours! His numbers are all good, although to look at him, he's frowning and making faces. I think he's ready to go back to bed.

I'm actually quite sad today, but for a different reason. I found out that Sunday is Caleb's last day. I don't know where or what he's moving on to, but I will miss him if we are still down here. Who's going to shave Bill? He's the only one who does it and he knows exactly how he likes to be bathed. I wish him well, but I will definitely miss him.

That's it for today. I'll get the nurse and get him moved back to bed. They are going to use the sling and we have to rearrange the room to get it all accomplished. I took some pictures and a video of him getting up, but I don't have Travis' or Jody's permission, I can't post them. But, they were also impressed with how he did!