I've been sitting here staring into space, contemplating what to do, as I can feel my sisnuses pouring down the back of my throat. No, it's not "the virus", it's just good old allergies, complete with itching eyes and the sinus pressure that goes along with it. But, that's not what I was contemplating. I'll explain later, if I can.

Bill had a decent day yesterday. He was awake most of the day and we watched home renovation shows. Why it was on that is a mystery, unless it was never turned off from Sunday and that is what I was watching. But, he interacted with people and talked a lot, most of which we couldn't make out. 

There was a package of diapers in the room finally, but 2 of the nurses that were working yesterday, Mikala and Rachael, are both pretty good at getting the condom catheters on, so they decided to try that one more time. He's getting very irritated in that area.The first one Mikala tried came off before she even walked away from the bed, but Rachael got one to stay. Now, if Bill just left it alone. Out of habit, as any man would, he reaches to hold himself, and that contributes to it coming off. I've shown him the tubine, with the urine in it and told him he was going, but I don't know if that helped or not.

Dr. Sharma turned his oxygen concentration down to 40 and Mike, the respiratory tech, made a discovery. He noticed that his sats might be in the 80s or low 90s until he got a breathing treatment. Now, part of the breathing treatment does open the lungs more so that more oxygen can get in so his sats go up. But, if the line that holds the medicine is left connected, after all the medicine has been nebulized, his sats stay up longer and higher, he thinks from the extra few liters of pure oxygen he gets. So, he asked Dr. El Hadad if he could just leave the line attached. Both doctors didn't like the idea, I think from a comment Dr. Sharma made that it wouldn't make a difference, so the line was disconnected. His sats dropped from 98 to 89. They did slowly come back up to the low 90s. Their solution was to turn the oxygen back up to 50%. He was at 98 when I got there in the morning and 94 when I left in the afternoon.

In talking to Dr. El Hadad, who hadn't seen him since his first stint in ICU, I told him that we had decided on the palliative care when the time came and he agreed, but he said we would give him as many days as we could before that time. Dr. Sharma keeps talking about moving him back to RC or another facility, but I told Dr. El Hadad that Dr. Edwards was the one who wanted him back in ICU to be monitored more closely. So, especially in light of the virus, I don't know what will be done.

Dr. El Hada also wants vigorous PT and was going to speack to them about that, not just put a note in the chart. And, as of 4:30 when I left, there still had been no PT. I also told him about the nonexistent PT in Restorative Care and he, too, was surprised that it was all just passive range of motion as far as his legs went.

Now, as far as my contemplation goes, and maybe it's just because I'm miserable with these allergies, but I'm really torn about going to stay at the hospital for the duration or just staying home. The caregiver part of me says to stay, Bill needs me to keep him calm. But, the Beth part of me says to stay home to save my sanity. Any family member who has stayed over with a patient knows you get no rest at all. I know family would take care of the cats, but I'm also a loner and need my alone time and that would be nonexistent in the hospital. There weren't any managers on the floor yesterday that I could ask about procedures changing, I do have enough clothes for 4 days and there is a small laundry room in the hospital. It would just be a matter of making sure I had all of my meds with me. I'm just so conflicted about it and that's not like me. So, I'll keep contemplating.

This morning when I went out to feed the cats, the little possum was eating. The bowls are up on the back step to stay out of the rain, and at first I thought it was just another new cat. But, I looked at him and said "Ooh, possum" and stayed in the doorway, he looked at me, thought about hissing, and took off running under the fence around the air conditioner. That's the closest we have come to being face to face! I felt sorry for him, it was raining and cold and he was all wet, but that was as far as I was going! And, speaking of going, I'd better get dressed and get going. It is cold and rainy and a little fog. It will be another lovely  drive in the dark wet morning.That's the one bad thing about this time change, it stays dark so late still in the mornings. I do like getting home before dark now, but I miss the sunrise on my drive in.