When I got to the hospital this morning, Bill was bright-eyed and aware. I asked if he slept well and he nodded. He said he felt better and I told him that I thought some of the doctors thought yesterday that he was ready to check out, and he said "Maybe". Now, I don't know what the maybe meant, that he was ready to stop fighting, or if he thought they meant he could be discharged. And that was the last he really communicated to anyone for the rest of the day.

Molly came in to give him his morning meds and then she wanted to change him, so we did that. His gown was damp and as soon as we got the new gown on...he threw up again. Not as much as the other day and it looked more like bile. Molly got him some Zofran immediately and got it into him. We got him cleaned up again and when Dr. Yaranov came in, he ordered his food to be held for 6 hours and after examining him, ordered not only a chest x-ray, but an abdominal x-ray. He said that his abdomen was very tense to palpation. 

Dr. Nowak came in and said that the blood culture taken from the midline came back gram negative, which means infection, but the blood drawn from the other area was not. So, the midline was pulled today and a PICC line placed instead.

Dr. Schreiner mentioned using sodium bicarb in his nebulizer. I told him Dr. Smith mentioned the same thing last week. I'm not really sure what that would do, but he said it's an old-fashioned treatment. He was going to talk to the respiratory tech about it, but that's all I know.

They came to do the x-rays and the PICC line back to back at lunch time, so I went to get something to eat. Since there's no eating in the cafeteria except for employees, there are three small tables in the vending machine/ATM room. Luckily one of those was empty. To practice "social distancing" there was only 1 chair at each table. A couple did come in after a man left and they did pull up another chair, but I thought it interesting that there were 3 people eating, 1 at each table.

Bill was asleep when I got back to the room and the only time he woke up was during his bath when he was turned. But, he didn't talk to either of the nurses or me. And as soon as he was settled, he was right back out.

The nurses noticed the blood in his urine and as they turned him he went again so Abby just used a towel. When it was moved, it looked like all blood. They have been documenting it in his chart, and I told them that I had reported it to every doctor and they had seen it in the collection bag when they were using the catheter, but none of them seemed too concerned. So, we're still at a loss as to what is causing it, unless something shows up on the x-ray. I won't know anything about those results until tomorrow when the doctors round, and they won't generally volunteer the information.

So, it seems like our good days have ended. All of his numbers were good, but he did have some episodes of V-tach again. They don't last long, but it means there's something going on. I told Bill again that it was OK if he was ready, I would be OK and that we've had a great life for the last 30 years. But, while he still responds to pain or stimulation, I will not have him removed from the vent. That tells me that HE is still there, even if he doesn't respond to commands.

I'm still at peace with the decisions we made as a family to let him go when the time comes. That's not to say it will be easy. 

So, a few good minutes this morning and then an afternoon of him sleeping.

There is a real shortage now of isolation gowns. They've brought some up from the surgical suites. Today, his nurse and the respiratory tech left their gowns on either side of his open door so they could tell which one was theirs. As of right now, he is the only isolation patient in the unit. The doctors weren't sure what to do. I suggested they take off their white coats before they came in. It would kind of work like putting on a protective gown, only in reverse. But, none of them seemed to like the idea much. I guess the status symbol of the white coat is really strong.

The hospital was very quiet all day. Starbucks is always closed on Sunday, but today the gift shop was also closed, at least it was when I left at 4. There was a sign on the door, but I didn't stop to read it. It was even quiet when I got there. Usually there's a line to get in, but today there were only 2 employees in front of me. Maybe because it's Sunday and people were at church and came in the afternoon. But, it is rather eerie.

That's it for today. Let's hope and pray for a better day tomorrow.