It turned out that today was the day. Dr. Edwards said that he was doing OK but couldn't really get Bill to respond. I asked him about bronching him the other day and he wasn't aware that he had been but said he would check. I also asked the respiratory tech Krystal and she said she saw something on her sheet about a bronch, but couldn't recall offhand if it was Bill or not.

Bill did wake up when I got to the room and looked at me, but went right back to sleep. He did wake up a bit later and said his back hurt. I thought it was from the position he was in and he could be turned at that time so I got his nurse. I thought he was hurting from laying on the call button remote, but he said it was his lower back that hurt. And, by saying that he said it, it was more I asked yes and not questions. When Abby and Caleb were turning him, he was laying on his feeding tube end and clamp. No wonder his back hurt! As soon as it was moved he said it didn't hurt anymore.

Dr. Aswan came in and said that his labs still looked OK. He said there wasn't much change in his xray, but he wasn't looking for infection, he was looking for fibrosis and scarring. He said he's already getting all of the meds he would get to treat that and it was not going to bet any better. He suggested that we start palliative care and just keep him comfortable and I agreed. He said it's time to tell the kids to come since Bill's wish was for them to be here if possible. He also said that he's been a doctor for more than 10 years, is a Christian, and this is the part of his job he hates. He told me that if I needed anything at all, to call him. So, I contacted all of the kids, his and mine, his sister, my sister and brother, and I'm sure they told mom. 

Palliative care did not come before I left. I did talk to Kim, one of Dr. Edwards' nurse practitioner and we had a hug and cry. She told me she'll be on for the next 4 days and to call her, even it was only for a hug.

The kids may start arriving tomorrow, but definitely Friday and the ones who live here are planning on going to the hospital on Saturday. His sister decided not to come, but to remember the good. Also, Bill's boys can't come for various reasons, but he knows they love him. I hope they know he loves them too. I also told my family not to come.

Since we don't know how long the process will be I don't want a long death watch. He's going to be cremated and and we are going to have a memorial service at a later date. Everyone can come for that if they want. There are still some decisions I need to make. He's entitled to be buried in a National Cemetary, but the closest one is Memphis. Or, I can bury him in the cemetery behind our house with a military headstone. Or, we can just have a nice celebration of life ceremoney and I keep his ashes with me. Just more things to think about.

I sent Stephanie for Mayo a message to tell her. I told her I was taking the coward's way out by not calling, but that I didn't trust myself to talk. She said she would let the rest of the team know and that she was sending hugs and prayers.

Bill woke up about the time I was leaving. He was the most lucid he had been all day. I gave him the standard goodbye we go through and told him I would be back in the morning before he woke up.

I don't know how many more posts there will be before the one to let you know when he's gone. I will have my computer with me and my tablet, but you know how the internet is at the hospital.

I want to thank everyone who sent messages, texts or commented either here or on Facebook for your love and prayers. They have meant so much through this time. You are all very dear to me.